Superstitious

While bathing my bike last night, I decided that three and a half weeks was long enough for my Ouachita Challenge zip ties to stay on my handlebars. Last year I had a crazy idea to leave them on for the rest of the season, as a reminder of my accomplishment in finishing the race. Then the season kind of turned to crap after that and I forgot the zip ties. They didn't come off until a couple of weeks before THIS YEAR'S Ouachita Challenge. So I decided to take an opposite approach this year. I went ahead and cut them off as a reminder that merely finishing the OC WON'T be the coolest thing I do this year.

No More Cryin'

Hesitation Point, BCSP at sunset last Thursday

I have successfully survived another training cycle, which was capped off with a 14.5 hour week that ended yesterday. Furthermore, today the 50th day in a row that I have successfully followed my training plan. I'm halfway to my arbitrary goal of 100 days, and it's kind of fitting that today is a rest day.

Last week I made reference to my being a drama queen the accumulated fatigue that I was experiencing. I've since realized that I'll soon need to move beyond simply tolerating the fatigue (a new development in itself) to full embracing it. The reason? I am giving serious consideration to entering the Pisgah Mountain Bike Stage Race, which is slated for mid-October.

I have pretty much wanted to do a mountain bike stage race since I learned that such a thing existed just few months after I began racing. At the time, there were no stage races in the United States, and only the La Ruta did not require a partner. This made the dream of stage racing seem really remote and far off.

All of the sudden, there is plethora of stage races available in the United States and Canada, and most of them now offer a solo division. I then considered the possibilty of doing a stage race as soon as 2010, if 2009 went okay, of course.

Then I heard about a relatively affordable four day race East of the Mississippi that I theoretically could do THIS YEAR and I got all excited. They even pay age group prize money, and there aren't a lot of girls who are 29 and under who do endurance mountain bike racing. With nearly six months to prepare, I think I can do this.

A week ago I was feeling pretty confident about my endurance racing goals for 2009. Then I got a little worried about my endurance ride on Saturday. Is there still a chance that I will be too slow to finish the Lumberjack, despite all of my hard work? I'm reminded that, even though the last seven weeks feel like a long time, I really haven't been "working hard" for that long.

I feel a little scared about comitting to something so big with the Lumberjack still looming. However, I know I'll work harder if I have something to work for.

Mofo II: Enough With the Granny Gear Already

Yesterday was the last major workout of my April training cycle: the big mofo singletrack ride. The weather was much more cooperative than the last time, as it was sunny and 80-something and the trails were about as perfect as they can get in April. That also meant a lot more people out than last time, although traffic wasn't too much of an issue.

My last singletrack endurance ride left me frustrated, because I only managed to get 26 miles in the allotted four-hour period. Part of the problem was that I used my small ring a lot on that ride, because after three weeks of hard training, my legs burned every time I tried even baby climbs in the middle ring. Yesterday, I was determined to better, even though I woke up that morning already in a deep state of fatigue. Luckily, once I started riding, I didn't feel that bad. I was able to complete in the whole loop in my middle ring no problem, so I was hoping that would improve my pace a lot more over last time. Unfortunately, it didn't really help that much. I managed to cover 33.3 miles (four laps) in 4:48.

My scheduled time had been 4.5 hours and I was hoping to get five laps, and the plan was to go back to the parking lot and refill my hydration pack after three. I finished my third lap in 3:25 and saw that there was no way to get in two laps without going way over time-wise, so I decided to one more lap without a water refill. My water calculations had been correct, as I ran out of water very early in the fourth lap, but I just wanted to get it done and get out of there. It's funny how the mental distress of just knowing you are out of water on a hot day can slow you down.

I did manage to go a little faster than last time, but this ride shook my confidence about the Lumberjack a little bit. I rode exactly one third of a hundred miles, so if you triple my ride time, that comes out to 14:24, which is well past the Lumberjack cutoff time. The good news is that I still have eight weeks to prepare, the Lumberjack course is faster than the Brown County loop, and my legs will be perfectly honed and tapered for the race, rather than flat and toasted like yesterday.

I still have a three-hour "survival" ride this afternoon, and when its done, I'll have about 15 hours for the week and a big rest week ahead.

Call Me Panini

Because I am flat and toasted.

Okay, that's a little overdramatic, but the phrase came to mind during my workout last night. I did 4 X 10 minutes Sweet Spot, and it actually went okay, except for the last one.

When I got my April training calendar, I saw that it was very much like my March training calendar, except for a slight increase in volume and intensity. The general structure and workout order was very similar, though. My first thought was that I would most certainly make it through April without being a drama queen about how tired I was, since I already knew exactly how I would feel this week and that yes, I will in fact recover from it next week. I did underestimate the effect of a mid-cycle race and an especially stressful two-week period at work. I remember that I had an especially un-stressful week at work at this point in the March cycle and I still whined like a baby. Progress, right?

I recall stating back in December that one of my goals for 2009 was to get over my fear of overtraining. I kind of forgot about that goal for a couple of months, but then I suddenly accomplished it when I least expected to. My goal in March was just "get back in the training groove", but I ended up setting some personal bests, at least in the mental and emotional areas and I'm very happy with the progress I'm continuing to make.

But sometimes it's fun to whine, anyway.

Just Because

I decided to take and post this picture for three reasons. The first is that I've never actually taken and posted a "looking down while I'm riding" picture on my blog. Nice, but I don't think I'll make it a habit.

Second, I wanted to show off the new silver bar tape that Adam added on Monday. He saw that the black was making my pink gloves dirty, so he switched it to something less rubbable. It's kind of a nice change after three years or so. My road bike is definitely the pure workhorse of my stable, but it was nice to spruce it up a bit.

Finally, I wanted to demonstrate that I pulled out the full winter Napoleon Dynamite booties one more time for the year. From my perch on the sixth floor of the Poplars Building, I watched the weather go from rain to wind to sun to sleet to snow and back and forth in between all day. The temperatures stayed in the mid-forties, so when I went out to ride, I wanted warmth plus protection from whatever the sky might throw at me. Luckily, it just alternated between sun (in which I was too hot) and drizzle (in which I was about perfect). The wind was manageable, and I got in another decent Sweet Spot Bursts workout. My numbers were lower than last week, but that was intentional survival strategy. Only five more days until rest week!

Ceraland Race

I'll take any excuse I can get to wear my black skinsuit; I just love it so much.

I referred to this ensemble as my "Criterium Barbie" outfit, although the pink shoe covers are apparently the same color as my legs.

I ended up doing a road race at Ceraland Park in Columbus, IN on Saturday. I didn't mention this before the fact, because it was kind of a last minute decision. I had been considering doing this race since my first road race a few weeks ago, but I delayed the decision because, prior to the cancellation/uncancellation of the DINO Spring Tune-up, it would have had me racing three weekends in a row. Also, I kind of figured that whatever workout that Jason scheduled for me that day would be more beneficial than and hour at puke effort.

Indeed, when I got this month's schedule, I had a three hour moderate intensity road ride on Saturday and a two and a half hour mountain bike ride scheduled for Sunday. Sticking to that plan probably would have been better preparation for my immediate goals, but in all honesty, I wanted to race and was ready to cave with only minimal peer pressure. So when the minimal peer pressure was applied last week in the form of, "Are you racing at Ceraland this weekend?", I easily caved. However, I stubbornly stuck the to the idea that I was going to get my hours in, puke effort be damned.

I tossed around several plans about how to do this, and drafted my "peers" in Columbus to try and help me find a post-race road route, but as the weekend neared, it became apparent that there was no way a mountain bike ride was going to happen on Sunday, due to all-day rain. So I talked Adam into bringing the mountain bikes so we could stop at Brown County on the way home.

~~

Well, enough with the big picture (or really myopic picture?) for a moment. There is a supposed to be a race report buried in here somewhere. I will start off by saying the weather was slightly better than the last race. I'm not sure if Saturday was the official warmest day of the year, but it was definitely the first time one could comfortably wear short sleeves at 10 a.m.

There were about 12 girls ranging from Cat. 1 to first-timers, but we were on the circuit with a large "citizen's class" field, as well. It was decided before the race that the men and women shouldn't work together, which became a point of contention post-race, and the women started about thirty seconds back.

The field strung out on the first straightaway, but when the rubber band contacted about a half a lap in, most of the women had grouped into a 1/2 pack and a chase pack. I started well and was actually second wheel in the chase pack for a lap or two, until I got anxious and decided to take a pull. However, I pulled too hard, split the pack, and when I pulled off, I found myself unable to stay on the back. I just don't have the patience for road racing yet; I get very anxious sitting on some one's wheel. The good news is that there was zero feeling sorry for myself this time and I rode as hard as I could for the entire race by myself. I managed to pass another dropped girl from the original group near the end, so I pulled off a sweet "not last" place finish.

Perhaps next time I will have a bit more skill and patience to stay with the group, although I'm not really sure when next time will be. I might do the Bloomington Crit, but that isn't until July, and I can change mind about 50 more times before then.

~~

The rest of the weekend was tough and tiring to say the least. We did stop at Brown County on the way home, but I only ended up riding about an hour and a half. I had this crazy idea about getting in three hours and some serious "big girl panty" time that would further prepare my legs for riding tired near the end of the Lumberjack. However, Adam did not want to stay that long, and I started feeling bad about my constant agenda-pushing during my ride. I began to doubt the efficacy of riding much longer on legs that would barely move, since it was my own crazy idea and not coach-prescribed torture, so I turned in early.

Yesterday I woke up feeling the worst I can remember after a race or training day. I was pouring rain all day and it was quite a chore just to get myself out on the bike. Since I no longer had a relevant plan for the day, I went out and "just rode" for a couple of hours. It was another day where simply turning the pedals was all that I could manage.

I finished out the week just shy of 11 hours, but with a lot of intensity thrown in. I have a 14 hour week on tap for this week, but I plan going at it a little easier than the last. I officially have new power zones in which to work, so I'm going to be good and stay within my ranges, rather than trying to be a hero on my intervals this week. It would be kind of cool to actually have something left for my Sunday ride for once.

I Can Haz More Wattz?!!

Yesterday, I had the strongest desire to blow off a workout since I started training with Jason. The good news is that the "strongest" desire was still not that strong. I am on day 38 of the training plan and still not missing a beat.

I spent the day in Indianapolis job shadowing at the IUPUI Registrar's office, so that I would have better I idea of what Registrar's offices actually do, since my job involves supporting their functions. Getting up early, driving by myself in Indianapolis, sitting through training, and generally having my daily routine turned upside down left me pretty exhausted by the end of the day. When I headed back to Bloomington about 4:00, it was 45 degrees, drizzling, and seemed to be getting dark already. There was a definite urge to stop at the Dairy Queen in Martinsville, buy an extremely large Blizzard and some of the "real" DQ food that isn't available in Bloomington, and eat in it front of the TV when I got home.

However, my destiny awaited with the evenings' scheduled workout, so I pressed onward. You see, my race simulation on Saturday earned me a tentative upgrade in my power zones. The plan was to increase the prescribed zone for my workout by 15 watts to see how I fared.

Both the strength and the downfall training with a power meter is its blunt objectivity. When you have a pretty good idea of the number you need to hit to achieve Goal X, and you are nowhere close to that number, it sometimes makes you want to stay home and train more instead of racing. Within reason, I relish any opportunity to squeeze a few more watts out each workout in the hope of getting a little bit closer to the "magic numbers".

Last night was 3 X 8 minutes Sweet Spot, with 10 seconds max effort bursts every two minutes within the interval. I first heard of "bursts" in this article and thought, "Holy Crap! That's exactly the solution to my late race fading!" They'll be especially good in prepping for the Lumberjack 100, as the whole course is short, steep hills that tax the legs a bit more each time. Anyway, I actually completed the workout well above the newly prescribed zone. If I can replicate in tonight's 4 X 9 minutes regular Sweet Spot reps, then I will officially get my zones increased, and spend every workout a little closer to where I want to be.

The closer I am to fast
The closer I am to fast

Tricky

The DINO Spring Tune-Up was un-cancelled around 8:00 this morning, and I found out about it around 9:00. As general rule, it can't be guaranteed that I will even be awake 9:00 on a weekend morning when I have nothing scheduled. Seeing as I had cleared my schedule for the race, all that was on my agenda was getting my ride in sometime before 5:00 p.m. However, being the crazy responsible person that I am becoming, I awoke at 7:30 all on my own. I messed around, had breakfast, etc. and by the time Adam call me from work to let me know the the race was on, I was already halfway through a large pot of green tea and the movie "Twilight". I had been pretty pumped to race a couple of days ago, but at that moment, the thought of throwing my stuff in the car and trying to make the start didn't seem too appealing.

It's just as well, because I had a great workout this afternoon. It was a race simulation that consisted of clipping in from a full stop, sprinting for 10 pedal strokes, two minutes Zone 6, five minutes threshold, and ten minutes sweet spot all back-to-back. It was pretty hard, but I was proud of my numbers when it was all done. I was also supposed to ride for "a couple more hours" when I was done with the race simulation, so I gave myself a ten minute soft-pedal break and then tried to settle into upper Zone 2/ low Zone 3. I wanted to put in a better effort than "just riding along" pace, and I did. I only ended up with 2:20 ride time, but I was working hard enough that I didn't feel the need to try to tack on more distance at the end. I was about as worked over at I wanted to be with two very hard weeks ahead of me.

I was sunny and nice today, but the temperature was only in the low-to-mid 50's, so I developed "cyclocross cough" by the time it was over. That happens when I ride really hard efforts in cool/cold weather. I think I will be fine after some echinacea tea and good night's rest.

So What? I'm Still a Rock Star

The DINO Spring Tune-Up has been cancelled. That means that it will be three more weeks before my first cross country race, which is kind of okay because I'm not really fast enough to be racing cross country yet, anyway. Between the late start to training and the very endurance-heavy period leading up to the Lumberjack, I don't actually expect be "fast" enough until late summer. That makes me a little nervous about the first couple of DINO races, but tomorrow was supposed to be my freebee where I was the only girl in my class and got to pump up my ego with some decent lap times. Plus, I was totally looking forward to riding this thing, now that I actually know how to ride a bike.



That was from my very first race in 2006, which was about my fifth time on singletrack and my technical skills did not exist yet. I have a feeling that course is a little easier now that I have become "Rockhopper Rodkey". Instead, I get to do a sweet race simulation workout on the road, that should be really hard but kind of awesome at the same time. I like making my power meter go "vroom vroom".

I can't really explain the sudden burst of cycling related self-esteem. I'm still feeling good about last weekend, time and place aside. Something about the fact that I got faster without really trying makes feel hopeful about the future. Plus, I'm feeling surprisingly grown-up about following my training plan for the first time in my life.

Seeing Sarah last weekend was an inspiration to me, because she's made so much progress in the last year. She mentioned "putting on your big girl panties" when it came to training, and it got me thinking: If you put on your big girl panties often enough, eventually you'll actually become a big girl.

Excuse me while I go change...

Jersey Cookies

I have been toying with the idea of "jersey cookies" for endurance racing for a few months, since I have now been saved twice by oatmeal cookies at aid stations. I don't have the strongest stomach when it comes to eating on the bike, so my nutrition plans have so far revolved around liquid/gel products. Despite being a bit afraid of eating "real food" in races, I ended up eating oatmeal cookies at the last aid stations of both the OC and the Iceman in 2008, when the end was near and the sports drinks were getting nasty.

So when I was preparing for the Ouachita Challenge this year, I strongly considered supplementing my gel with oatmeal cookies cut into quarters and stuffed my jersey pocket for easy access. Not the cleanest thing in the world, but easy to eat without stopping. However, I abandoned the idea after I finished exactly half of the gel that I brought on my last long ride before the race.

Then Jason called me the day before the OC for a pre-race pep talk/nutrition talk. Much to my surprise, he seemed kind of encouraging about my cookie idea, so I planned on picking some up at the rest stops. Unfortunately, they didn't have the same cookies as last year so that was kind of sad. I ended up making it through the race on 2 1/2 of the 5 gel flasks that I had packed, 2 1/2 bananas, 1 sugar cookie, and 1/2 oatmeal cookie I tried to scarf down on Big Brushy when the ugliness hit. The moral of the story is that real food has real value after all, and gel gets somewhat unpalatable after a while.

With that in mind, I'm doing taste testing in preparation for the Lumberjack 100, which is a little over 10 weeks away. I tried Pepperidge Farm Oatmeal Raisin a few months ago when the idea originally struck. They tasted good, but I never actually ate them on the bike because it was the middle of winter and eating cookies takes more manual dexterity than lobster gloves allow. My biggest problem was that despite the "zero grams trans fat" on the label, the word "hydrogenated" still made it's way into the ingredients list.

I really liked the fat-free (more in importantly, hydrogenated-free) cookies in the swag bags at the OC, but the attached card said the minimum order was four dozen. I think four dozen cookies in my freezer would be a really bad thing.

Finally, I noticed Quaker Breakfast Cookies while I was in the grocery store yesterday, and grabbed the box without giving it much of a look. I was under no pretense that they were actually health food or that people should actually eat cookies for breakfast (breakfast is a sensitive subject for me), but I somehow thought they might stack up better than the Pepperidge Farm cookies, which are marketed on deliciousness instead of nutrition. Sadly, when I looked at the nutrition facts on the Quaker Breakfast Cookies, I was shocked. That long column of text in the picture is its ingredient list, and the word "hydrogenated" in there a lot, along with a lot of other big words. It kind of grossed me out that they try market these things as being good for you.

I'm sure I'll find something good soon. I suppose a "dietarily insignificant" dose of hydrogenated-ness isn't terrible, but it would be nice to find a cookie that is tasty, soft, and shelf-stable without it. I'm not sure if that is chemically impossible or not.

A Tale of Two Cutoff Times: Ouachita Challenge 2009

What can I say? This year's Ouachita Challenge started so differently, and ended so the same. Well, luckily it was not totally the same, but I'll get to that later.

This year I had no pretenses of trying to "get ahead of the slow people on the singletrack". I might as well have made a formal announcement, "My name is Lindsay, and I AM one of the slow people on the singletrack." So when the pack started rolling, I started rolling at exactly the pace that felt good to me, going souly on RPE with almost no mind to what my HR or the rest of the group was doing. I did pay enough mind to look back and realize I was literally DFL for a few minutes. I knew that wouldn't last long and that I would eventually pick off a few people before the day was over. Luckily, the first one came as soon as the first significant dirt road climb hit and the girl in front of me got off and started walking. I was shocked, because if you're walking on a dirt road that a car could easily drive up, what are you going to do on Blowout Mountain? I figured that was her decision, though.

So I moved on to where the normal dirt road turned into steep jeep road/double track. This part was kind of funny because I was just sitting in my granny gear easily picking my way up the hill, and observing what I liked to call "The Boulevard of Broken Dreams" because it was pretty much a gauntlet of people fixing flats on each side of the road. I had been warned about the sharp rocks in this section, so I make sure to be very careful picking my lines and not going full bore.

After that came the Womble, which was just kind of whatever for me. I was riding reasonably smooth and clean compared to last year, but I still wasn't going particularly fast. I was still reserving energy for later in the day.

I rolled into the first rest stop within my fairly arbitrary time goal, made some minor wardrobe changes due the rising temperature, grabbed some more water, and moved on. I was feeling good about my chances of finishing "pretty", meaning finishing still looking strong with little no doubt that I was going to finish, even if the placing wasn't great.

I knew ahead of time that the course I finished on last year was an abbreviated version, but I didn't really understand the differences for 2009. I knew there was a little more trail and a little more dirt road before the first rest stop, but I didn't know how much more road there was in the middle. Last year it took me 20-30 minutes to get to Chalybeate from the first rest stop and yesterday it took me an hour and a half. During this time, there was a lot of frustration and fear that I was lost, because the blue ribbons marking the course were few and far between. I also had to shoulder my bike and carry it through a thigh-deep creek while holding a rope that was strung up to keep riders from washing away. That would was interesting, but pretty cold, and the soggy shoes weren't fun.

So when I finally arrived at Chalybeate, I was pretty frustrated because my legs and butt were aching from an hour and a half of sitting and spinning. I was also starting to fear that I wouldn't make the last cutoff time. I walked up the initial steep ascent of maybe 100 meters, and then told myself to suck it up and ride the best I could, even if my chances of finishing were waning. Once the determination to suck it up was made, my spirits were quickly lifted when I realized that I was able to clear almost the entire mountain from that point on. That section does have one major rock garden that I wasn't able to clear, but at least this year it looked like something I could ride with a little practice rather than a hopeless mess. By the time I finished the descent, I had given myself the new nickname of "Rockhopper Rodkey", which is quite an overstatement, but I was feeling good about myself.

Blowout mountain was much the same, I had a little trouble getting to a place where I could make a clean run at climbing on the bike, but after two or three attempts I was caught by Jason, my coach. It was funny because that was our first in-person meeting, which was brief, but it seemed like some sort of weird sign. I was able to ride most of the way over the top, with just a few fumbles from that point on. I also rocked the descent for quite a while, although I was forced to walk a lot during the last third of the mountain, because then the rock gardens got too big for me to handle and then there more climbing, which was steeper and rockier than anything else that day.

Around the time that I was able to start riding again, it started getting really cold and the 3:30 cutoff time was rapidly approaching. I rode as well as I could, but since I really didn't have any idea of how much distance vs. time was left I had decided that whatever was supposed to happen would. My only dilemma was if I showed up at 3:28 and had to make the decision of moving on with no time for fresh water or warm clothes or just letting the clock run out.

That didn't happen, because I arrived at the last station at 3:45 and was informed that the cutoff was now 4:00. It was kind of upsetting, because I was already resolved in the fact that I ridden much better than last year and simply wasn't fast enough for the extended distance yet. All of the sudden, I was forced to give up my fantasies of an imminent shower and realized that the decision to finish was back in my hands. Although I could have dilly-dallied in the aid station a couple more minutes and allowed myself to be "administratively pulled", I had come too far to give up unless I really had to.

So I squeaked in just past the cutoff determined to rock Big Brushy the way I had Chalybeate. I did pretty good for a while and then I was joined by Todd, the sweeper, who I was somewhat familiar with through Sarah's blog. We chitchatted for a while, and I was riding well, but then I started to fade. Looking back, it's funny, because during the time thought I had missed the cutoff, I was vaguely disappointed that I would be pulled without ever seeing "the ugly place" where my legs buckled and pedaling up the smallest grade became a Herculean task. Not that I wanted to feel that way, but it just would have felt odd to be pulled off the course still feeling decent. However, to the dismay of myself and both the sweepers, "the ugly place" did come before we were off of Big Brushy and I ended up having to walk a lot, and whimper a little, too.

Once we got on the road, Todd implemented a pull me on the flats, push me up the hills, strategy that got us home much faster than I could have done on my own. When he found out that I was in the 60 mile race, he said that I owed him big time for moving the cutoff and allowing me to go down as an official finisher. By the time the ugliness hit, I wasn't so sure that I was glad that I had been allowed to go on, but he does have my eternal gratitude for helping me back and making sure I DIDN'T GET LOST this year. He even gave me an awesome lead out train for my lantern rouge winning sprint.

I'm well on my way to becoming the Wim Vansevenant of the Ouachita Challenge, so I'm now resolved to do better next year, not for myself, but for all of the volunteers who've had to sit around waiting for me two years in a row. I feel like I need to send them an extra big donation check in addition to my entry fee.

Gag Reflex

My attempt to KILL IT on my one minute intervals last night didn't go as great as I had hoped. I felt a little flat after two days off and I underestimated how hard they would feel with a mere one minute rest in between. For my Bloomington readers, I did the intervals going South through Cascades Park, since the smooth pavement and gentle upward grade would help put out my best power. Unfortunately, there were little fuzzy things falling out of the trees everywhere and a lot of my effort was wasted trying to not suck them down my throat or get them in my eyes during the hard efforts. Gross!

It was kind of funny because it seemed like the park was full of Little 500 riders going the opposite direction, presumably going for a cool-down ride after ITT's last night. I couldn't help but imagine what they were thinking as they met me grimacing, gagging, and grunting through my workout.

Overall, I still did pretty decent, but I wasn't able to produce the numbers I had hoped for a few days ago.

Extreme Taper: OC Edition

I have officially made it through the first three weeks of my training plan pretty much exactly as prescribed, although yesterday's planned 3 hour road ride turned into a 3:45 death march in lightly falling snow. My legs said enough was enough, and I just couldn't keep up a decent pace. Though technically, I think my power average was still in the assigned range (just barely) and I racked up the assigned amount of kilojoules, so I'll call it a win. Okay, I think I'll call the fact that I went outside at all a win.

As icing on the cake, yesterday marked the 21-day threshold for habit formation, although I think wrote down 100 days of no blown-off workouts as my first goal for 2009. It's a both a good goal and a silly goal at the same time. It's good because it was something I needed to improve on, but silly because it's not like it will do me much good if I decide to sit on the couch and eat ice cream for Day 101. I don't think that will happen, though.

Speaking of sitting on the couch, my three weeks of hard work have earned me one heck of a rest week leading up to the Ouachita Challenge Sunday. Days off include: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I'm not sure if I'll know what to do with myself, but my muscle fibers need some time grow back (hopefully stronger) before the race. I'm pretty sure that there really won't be a whole lot more sitting on the couch than normal, since I will need to use a lot of the free time to catch up on the housekeeping and other miscellany than have been ignored during my training binge. Hopefully, I'll still find time to put my feet up for some book reading and movie watching before time to leave on Friday.

My one real workout this week is on Wednesday, which is 1-minute intervals, and I'm actually really excited about this one. The night before the Long Run Park road race a couple of weeks ago, I was supposed to do 4 X 45-second "openers". The instructions said "FG" (I took this to mean Full Gas), so I went out and KILLED IT and I managed to knock out some pretty impressive power readings, for me at least. It was exciting to pour it out for the first time in forever, but it was probably also a contributing factor to my crappy race the next day. So I'm looking forward to KILLING IT again on fresh-ish legs without worrying about ruining my race, as I will have three days to recover afterward. Then I should be able to show some restraint for my next set of openers on Saturday.

Mofo Accomplished (Mostly)

After three days of fretting about whether my big mofo four-hour singletrack ride would happen today, it did, more or less. I spent the whole day yesterday checking the radar for Nashville, IN about every 30 minutes, as I watch two large green patches of rain go each side of Brown County State Park. Score! However, there was still rain predicted for late morning today. So I got up at 6:15 a.m. ON A SATURDAY to try and beat the rain.

I had hoped ride the paved climb up to the North Tower, ride two laps of the race loop, come down the connector trail, refill with water, and do the whole thing over; kind of like doing two DINO BCSP races back-to-back. However, I wasn't going full race pace, because I was going to be out there much longer than normal and my legs were quite tired from training this week. I didn't know if I'd be able to do that within four hours.

After two laps, I was well off-pace, partly because I had to make a bathroom stop at the top of the Aynes climb on both laps. Obviously, hydration was not a problem and I had a decent amount of water left. It started lightly sprinkling, so I decided to try and get in one more lap without stopping to refill for water. By the end of the third lap, the rain was coming down earnest and I knew it was time to get off the trail. I still had some time left, and since I've become very OCD about getting in the full workout time, I finished up on the road. I could have probably finished another beginner loop only, if it had not been raining, but I was close enough.

When I got home, I was kind of disappointed to see that I had only covered 26.1 miles of not-that-hard terrain in my four hours. I was hoping for more like 40. It's still way better than I'd done before the Ouachita Challenge last year, and I'm lucky to have been able to get in four mountain bike rides already this year. Hopefully, the speed will come soon.

She Has Danced Into the Danger Zone

Soooooo tired.

After 2.5 of the 3 relatively butt-kicking weeks of this training cycle, I'm starting to hurt. It all seemed pretty manageable as I ticked the workouts off one at a time. Now I'm in the last day of the next-to-last block. I just need to make it through the workday and a two-hour mountain bike ride tonight and then I get a day off tomorrow.

I think my real problem is that I've the far, and things are looking thunderstormy for my the big four-hour mofo singletrack ride that I had scheduled for Saturday. Then Sunday has a high in the 30's and a chance at snow. That's a three-hour road ride day.

Damn. I forgot it was still March.

I'm so close to pulling off a perfect training cycle. I WANT MY BIG MOFO SINGLETRACK RIDE!

I realize I'm getting a little too caught up in the details again, as I tend to do lately. My actual written down goal for March-June was to follow my training plan without blowing off any days. I figured I needed to get that accomplished before I could hope to achieve anything performance-wise. During my initial consultation with Jason, I all but blatantly stated that I wanted a totally easy sandbagger program for the first month, just so I could prove to myself that I could follow a plan again. The plan I actually received was anything but easy sandbagger (at least not to me), but I'm thisclose to having pulled it off, anyway.

I just need to breath, have a snack, sleep a lot the next couple nights, and take whatever Saturday's weather brings.

Overkill? Perhaps.

Training is still going well and I have reached the last hard week of the cycle before I spend next week resting (and praying) for the Ouachita Challenge. I'm scheduled for 13 hours this week, and even though I'm pretty tired from what has possibly already been my best two-week training period ever, I feel confident that I am going to sail through beautifully.

My pink booties seem to be drawing attention out on the roads, and when I walk by the drying rack where I air out my cycling clothes I'm starting to see a trend. Spring must be "pink season" for me, since all my heavy winter stuff is black. Soon I will shed it all for a few months of hatless, gloveless goodness.

It looks like I will have to buck the trend soon, though, because on my mountain bike ride on Sunday, I realized that my three-year-old pink Fox Incline cross country gloves are on their last legs (or thumbs). I was looking for a new pair of the same gloves, but current choices are limited to charcoal or walnut. I finally decided to go for the walnut, since it has light blue stripes that will match my new non-pink helmet, seen in this picture from the road race a couple of weeks ago.

When I got my new job, I decided to celebrate withe purchase of of a high-end helmet. I had planned on getting a pink Giro Atmos for a while, but I really didn't like the look of the latest version and in the end I decided I wanted to ugrade to an Ionos, anyway. The Ionos doesn't come in pink, so chose the light blue and white, which look pretty good with the mostly black 2008 kits (no word on when 2009 will be available).

First Mountain Bike Ride of the Year

It seems that Indiana has a wet year/dry year pattern. Luckily, we are scheduled for a dry year this year and seems to actually be working out that way so far. I was able to get in my first mountain bike ride of the year, exactly as my FasCalendar (I like that word) stated. Last year I didn't see any singletrack until I hit the Womble during the Ouachita Challenge. I'm not sure if I will get in the remaining three singletrack sessions that I have scheduled before the OC, but things are looking good for the next one on Sunday and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Unfortunately, I keep forgetting to take pictures now that it is warm enough to handle a camera without the bulk of lobster gloves. My phone was buried in my hydration pack, as I don't trust jersey pockets when I'm riding off-road. Since I was only out for an hour and a half, I didn't want to stop and dig it out.

The ride went better than expected. My mountain bike mojo was low since I'd been off the trail for a few months, but it was still better than I expected. I'm pretty sure I cleaned some rock sections that I never had before. It was the routine logs and roots that I've been riding for years that messed me up. With this, it seems that I have started a tradition:

For three years in a row, on my first ride of the year at Brown County, I have managed to ram into some seemingly innocuous object, come to a stop, nose wheelie, bang the top of my quads on the handlebars and bruise them, and come back down embarrassed but more or less unscathed. Last night it involved a roughly four-inch diameter log; I'm not sure how that happened.

Maniac

On the ice-filled line of sanity
It's a place most never see
It's a hard-won place of mystery
You can touch it but can't hold it

You work all your life for that moment in time
It can come or pass you by
It's a push of the world but there's always a chance
If the hunger stays alive

It's funny, but those were the lyrics that came to mind when I made the agonizing decision NOT to go get a muffin yesterday. Yeah, I know.

About a month ago, I hit my lifetime high weight of 137. Luckily, I realized that everything that I believed to have stood in my way during the last couple of years was either resolved or very near resolution. Like when I was offered my new job, I quickly realized that having a new job wouldn't in and of itself make me happy, but by leaving my old job, I had removed my most major excuse for not being happy. However, I still had to make the decision to get over it.

So I started riding again and quit worrying so much about whether I felt like riding or not. Then I pulled the trigger and signed up with a coach again. Then I stopped eating crappy food. Then after a couple of weeks it actually got easy to do all of these things again.

Which leads to me to the muffin. I was having a stressful morning and I just wasn't imagining the bean soup that I had brought for lunch giving me the happy shot of dopamine to the brain that I thought I needed. I craved something sweet and strongly considering going out for a muffin after I ate my soup, but after I was done with the soup I realized that I already had the blood-sugar stabilizing protein and fiber that I really needed. While I still wanted a happy shot of sugar-induced dopamine, I decided losing the 20+ pounds that I've gained over the last year and a half was more important.

What I can't understand is how I could make that decision yesterday, but not a couple of months ago when I was busy gaining those 20+ pounds. It's a hard-won place of mystery. You can touch but can't hold it.

I don't think there's a better way to describe the way that my weight has fluctuated through about five major ups and downs in the last 10 years. It really has nothing to do with which self-prescribed regimen I'm using, it's whether I "have it" at the moment or not. I just wish I knew how to keep it.

For the moment, I am rocking the first two weeks of my new training plan and I've lost about three pounds. I'm super tired, and I get hit with overwhelming hunger every couple of hours, at which time I eat 200-400 calories of something healthy and move on. I just need to remember that after months of not really needing any nutrition on the bike, that the overwhelming hunger will likely hit in the middle of the ride and I need to have some Rapidade or gel ready when it comes. Two hours with 2 x 14 minutes tempo kind of sucked last night on just water.

How far can I take it? We shall see.

Along those lines, I have decided that "She's A Maniac" will be my 2009 theme song, since that seems to be something that I like to do. There was "Livin' on a Prayer" in 2007 and "The Long Way Around" in 2008.

At first glance, choosing the song from an 80's movie training montage seems really lame. I didn't really even like the song until I heard an a capella version in the movie "Hamlet 2". Once I got the "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" song out my head (watch the movie), I started thinking about the "maniac" lyrics. There's actually some pretty good wisdom about self-efficacy in there. No overly inspirational crap about getting what you want if you work hard enough; more of a "you won't know unless you try" message. I like it.

Famous Last Words

As for myself, I'm doing everything I can to not need an excuse for tomorrow (crashes and mechanicals be damned). I've spent the whole week trying to hone my "Eye of the Tiger". - Me, Three Days Ago

I had this great plan to show up two hours before the race start, get checked in, dress in a calm and relaxed manner, do a thorough warm-up on the trainer, inspect the course, and start the race ready to fight harder than I'm normally used to doing. So here's a rundown of Saturday's race for which I thought I was so well prepared:

1) Late start from Columbus
2) Had to stop for gas, because I hadn't expected to drive the rest of the way to Louisville (my fault)
3) Got semi-lost or at least took a very inefficient route (semi-my fault for trusting the directions on the race flyer rather than taking it to MapQuest.)
4) Pouring rain made for slow moving a high stress level once I knew we were semi-lost (rain, not my fault; stress level, kind of my fault).
5) Arrived at race venue 45 minutes before race, 1:15 later than planned.
6) Freaked the hell out because I had to tried so hard to actually properly prepare for a race for the first time in probably two years
7) Got dressed
8) No warm-up except for one easy lap of the course, which was really just inspection rather than warm-up.
9) Started race, but due to the wet conditions I was afraid to bury myself in the middle of the pack as I had been instructed to do.
10) Got dropped on first hill.
11) Spent about a lap and a half beating myself up for everything that had happened so far that morning and my inability to handle it.
12) Told myself to HTFU and chase down the girl 100 meters down the road.
13) Looked up and saw there was no longer a girl in sight (not sure if she sped up or dropped out), but it left me with no choice but to time trial it out to the end
14) My chain broke off right before the end of the fifth lap. I had been on pace for six laps, but while I was walking up the last hill, the leaders finished and I was recorded as finishing with five laps, rather than a DNF.

So my "no excuses" race place dissolved into nothing but. I think that's why I had my pre-race freakout, because last year was nothing but lame-ass excuses. I wanted to actually put my heart into a race for once, even if it wasn't an "A" race. I guess that Saturday's race had become way too symbolic for me. I'm just so freaking tired of things getting messed up all the time, and as much as it happens, I feel like it must be my fault on an unconscious level.

On a side note, racing with a power meter adds a nice measure of objectivity at least. I was able to go home and see that, yes, my numbers were pretty weak compared to my training last week. It is comforting in the sense that I know the crappy race was in fact me actually riding badly rather than riding well and still falling behind. However, a bad day is a bad day and it's important that I figure out a way to do better next time.

Excuses, Excuses

http://www.warriorssociety.org/events/2009_vq_results.php

I thought this results page was funny. It contains a comment field with notable mechicals and injuries. Don't you wish all races did that?

As for myself, I'm doing everything I can to not need an excuse for tomorrow (crashes and mechanicals be damned). I've spent the whole week trying to hone my "Eye of the Tiger".

I read the following passage of this article a few weeks ago and it really stuck with me.

MiMBR: For those people reading this who are just starting out or who want to race, what advice would you give them?

DM: The important thing is to be easy on yourself. That’s something I tend to not be. If you go into a race and you’re constantly putting yourself down, then it’s not very much fun and you set limits within your own mind.

MiMBR: And you tend to live up to them.

DM: Yeah, exactly. That was the biggest mistake I ever made and to this day I still regret it. I did this race in Massachusetts and there was this other woman there. It was when I was still new to racing and I was just like “she’s going to beat me, she’s going to beat me.” And I was always just 15 minutes behind her and I never even really tried to push harder because I just thought I couldn’t.

Even though I'm no underwear-under-my-chamois-wearing newbie (earlier in the article), I think I would do well to heed this advise. I think I've always had a disconnect between I'm physically capable of and what I believe myself to be physically capable of. My college track/xc coach mentioned on more than one occasion that I did not look sufficiently spent after practice. It's not that I was consciously sandbagging, but maybe I just had another gear that I didn't realize I had. The only problem with trying to push past the pain and find the other gear is that it makes you even more conscious of the pain. That fact alone usually breaks me.

Maybe this is my true weakness. Perhaps what I believe to be my well below average level of physical talent is actually a well below average level of mental toughness and/or self-efficacy. I really want to use tomorrow's race as an opportunity to try and test my boundaries this area.

After all, I am technically undefeated on the road, so I should to focus on the fact that anything is possible and not create mental boxes how I should stack up against the field.