Birthday Girl

Okay, okay, so I've refrained long enough on my "down-low" birthday. By "down-low", I mean that I decided that I was too old to go around telling everyone "November 12th is my birthday. I'll be 28" two weeks ahead of time. It appears that word spread on Facebook anyway, so I might as well live it up. TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY. I'M 28 NOW.

I don't have any exciting plans for tonight, since I wanted to delay my celebration until Friday night when I don't have to worry about going to work the next day. I'm actually off work for the morning because I'm cooking a 20 pound turkey for my office's "Golden Turkey" pre-Thanksgiving meal, so part of tonight's celebration will include brining a turkey. Woohoo!

Maybe the cats will make me another sign or something.

In other news, today is the first day of the La Ruta de los Conquitadores. It doesn't look like anyone in my immediate blogosphere is participating this year, but it will still be fun to read the updates on the Internet. Despite my slow start in endurance racing world this year, the La Ruta is still central to my future plans. It may just take a couple more years than I originally planned.

Welcometh Home, Ice-Woman!

This was the sign that was sitting on the kitchen table when I got home from Michigan last night. (The cats have pretty good handwriting considering they have no thumbs, right?) Of course, thanks to modern technology rarely used in mountain bike races, Adam already knew my results beyond my vague text message report of "hard" and "slow".

Really, I think that's all anyone needs to know, but I'll try and elaborate a bit.

Even though I'd originally entered the pro/expert class because that what's my age/license says that I am, I quickly wussed out when I realized that the pros had a special 2:30 start and I would not be able to hide my slowness in the massive crowds. Luckily, the Iceman staff was accommodating and let me downgrade to sport women 19-34 at the minute. That was the best decision ever since I ended up going roughly an hour slower than planned and was closer to the bottom than the top of the sport class.

Apparently, I get slower when I don't train. Who knew? I realize there are a lot of people in the world who can stay pretty darn fast on minimal training. I am not one of them, but I seem to forget that without frequent reminders.

Basically, I made it through the race in slow anonymity and had a nice vacation. The course was much harder than I expected. It was not technical, in that there were hardly any tight turns, roots, or rocks, but there was a lot more climbing than I expected. The course was full of little steep, sandy grinders that caused me to keep going anaerobic and sucked a little more of my power after each one.

I need to address this whole steep-hill, anaerobic, power-sucking issue before next spring, but I'm not totally sure how to go about it. Do I focus on my climbing/baseline power so that I don't go anaerobic or do I focus on being able to go anaerobic without it sucking my power so fast? I'm not sure. I guess this would be a situation where it would be nice to have a coach again.

Oh well, I'm not getting back on that horse until at least April. Until then, I'm going to do about 3-4 more weeks of running, 2-3 weeks of transition/prep, and then basically do the "super-base" block that my coach assigned to me last January and February. I'm very confident that it would have been an effective plan had I done more than 25% of what I was supposed to do during that time period.

Waiting For The Day To Be Over Randoms

Seeing as today is the last workday for me this week, I'm trying to get through the last few hours so that I can move on to all things Iceman.

First of all, I wanted to share this article, because I thought it was really cool. Unfortunately, they haven't developed any therapeutic uses for this discovery yet. Nevertheless, I think it can have repercussions about how we view what we eat. I've been slowly moving away from taking too much stock in theoretical calories in versus calories out counts, as the scale and the math never seem to sync. The old school explanation would be that I'm somehow "cheating" on my counts, which is quite possible. On the other hand, the more I learn about this stuff, the more I think that unless you're undergoing elaborate testing in a laboratory, you don't *really* know how many calories you are consuming and burning.

That's just a random thought. Take from it what you will.

Out of the Darkness Comes Light

It appears that in between Halloween and the election, that another important milestone has slipped through the cracks. Last Sunday was the beginning of the "126 Days of Night" in which people with 8-5 jobs are not allowed to see the sun except on weekends and sometimes lunch breaks. At least there are no vampires (yet).

I think I may start my own techo-pagan religion where instead of celebrating solstices and equinoxes, I celebrate man-made changes of the clock.

The irony is that my year of craziness set in during the dark days of winter 2008 and never seemed to let go of me, even during the sunniest days of the year. Of course, at the time, I thought my inability to pry myself from the bed every morning was because it was cold and dark, not because I dreaded what the day would bring.

After many months of railing against my dissatisfaction with my job and a general cloud of anxiety about various athletic and non-athletic aspects of my future, I'm starting to "go with the flow" a little more. Of course, this has resulted in my giving up my coach and pretty much all formal training, realistically facing my issues at work, and basically admitted that I have no freaking clue what will happen tomorrow or next week or next spring and trying to okay with that.

So as the darkness settles in on the world once again, I'm actually pretty at peace with it. I've been running through my neighborhood in the evenings with a headlamp, which is still kind of scary, but fun. I'm already starting to get less sore and more fast again. I've also remembered how well I sleep during the winter (at least when I don't have crazy Obama/McCain dreams swirling through my head) and that January, February, and March are usually my best training months because of the general lack of other distraction that time of year. I just pushed too hard, too early last winter.

For the time being I'm in what I will dub the "racing off-season", which is a nice little paradox like "active recovery". For all practical purposes, I am having my off-season now, even though I'm still going to a few races. I'm enjoying the running, so I'm going to stick with that on week days until I feel "hungry" enough to get on a trainer. I'm not sure when that will be. I may end up running the Boston Marathon next spring instead of racing the Ouachita Challenge (kidding).

The good news is that I am well covered when the time comes for riding a bike in winter weather. My new knickers and tights arrived yesterday. The website said the 3-5 business days to make and ship the knickers, but they were at my door in 6 regular days. That's darn good turnaround time for semi-custom clothing. Plus, they apparently make fully-custom clothing to your exact measurements for a slight premium. Anyway, I'm pretty happy with both items, at least from the quick try-on yesterday. It looks like the knickers will be field-tested at the Iceman this weekend, as the Traverse City, MI forecast is 41 and raining for Saturday.

It's On

I jumped at Reenie's suggestion at ordering Boure knickers, since they custom bib-able. I also ordered a pair of the the full-length bib tights, as they appear to be only women's winter bib tights in production that haven't been marred by the encroachment of the "monobib" design. I still have my beloved Castelli's from a couple of years ago and they are "vest style" up top, which is awesome for winter. Unfortunately, the zipper on the vest is broken and I haven't been able to get it replaced yet. I think it's doable, but my regular dry cleaner turned down the job as too difficult. Maybe if I go to a shop that specializes in alterations.

Anyway, I'm excited about these new bib prospects. I will report back when they get here.

Umm, Well Made Cycling Clothing

I saw these in the latest issue of Velo News and had to check out the website. They look wide enough in the hips that they might actually fit my girl body, but I'm afraid they would probably be too long in both the torso and legs for me. The size chart says that the XS is for men with sub 30 inch waists. My waist is well under 30 inches, but men with 30 inch waists have much smaller hips than I do.

I'm back on my pursuit of bib knickers again, since it's fall and because I had a discussion with two other like-minded female cyclists a few days ago. The women's cycling clothing market frustrates me so much that I'm looking into man-world again, but I don't think it will do me much good. I'm too short and hippy for man-world.

We had discussions about commissioning some girl-modified bib knickers from Champion Systems, since their minimum order is low, so maybe that will work out. Otherwise, I may have to launch my "Just Shrink It, Please" web campaign that I've been plotting. Somehow "pink it and shrink it" took on a negative connotation in the "fast growing" women's cycling industry and companies came up with all these crazy modifications that make no sense. Really, I don't think female cyclists are THAT much different from men. We still like nice stuff, but we just want it our size.

USGP Louisville

I was going to wait until results were up on the Internet before I wrote my race report for the weekend, but really I just didn't feel like typing in the precious two hours between the time I got home last night and bedtime. However, I'm in the write-y mood now, so I'll go ahead and recap.

Not that there's much to recap. I came home with two more next-to-lasts, although I may get some arguement on this point. To that I will just go with the idea that that there is no one truth, only many personal truths, and my personal truth is that I've managed to be next-to-last in every race so far this season. I might not have been the next-to-last name on the list when the results came out, but for all practical purposes I was. Faster girls getting mechinicals doesn't really impact my progression as a racer, which, until there are podium spots up for grabs, is what actually matters to me. However, I suppose I am showing SOME progression. Last year I had 5 DFL's, and 2 next-to-lasts, so I guess 4 next-to-lasts and no DFL's is an improvement.

Now I'm just really tired from getting up at 4 a.m. two days in a row, racing, and standing around all day watching races. I just looked in the mirror and my hair's even more flat than normal; I think its tired, too. Or it could be the weather, but I'm going with tired.

So anway, it was a pretty good time overall. Two cool points of the weekend were:

1) Having Georgia Gould cheering for me (not by name or anything, but still), as I rode by during the race.

2) This one is for Sarah, who likes to talk about the "pain cave" and the "fatigue tunnel". When Tim Johnson went out on the a solo run for the win yesterday afternoon, the announcer was saying, "He's stepping out into the desert of pain. He just got one last drink of water, and he's heading out into desert like Moses." I would definitely like to see "the desert of pain" used again in the future...

So I Ran Last Night

Okay, it wasn't so much running as doing a one minute super easy jog, one minute walk for thirty minutes (covering a whopping two miles). I could probably have gone harder (my average HR was 128), but I wanted to be able to walk today. I'm not really sure why it is, but running kind of destroys my legs when I try to do it. I made it a point to be cautious, and I'm only moderately sore today.

Just so no one accuses me of being a flip-flopper (even though I'm a total flip-flopper and will explain why in a moment), I must state that the attempt at running had absolutely nothing to do with training for cyclocross. In fact, my motivation was quite the opposite. It was attempt to maintain some form of aerobic activity, avoid a completely sedentary lifestyle, and quell the tide of weight gain without dragging a bike into the situation. With four and a half months of darkness about to set in, trying to get on a trainer when I'm already not feeling it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

On the matter of my flip-floppiness,I just feel like I spent a lot of time over the last few months talking about my awesome plans to get fast once such and such happened. When such and such point came, I was on task for about a week and the started flailing again, since the core issue was never resolved. I have recently come to realize that neither my fitness nor my depression will submit to the time lines I prescribe for them. I guess I need to just quit being so hard on myself for not pulling it together faster, and let the progress happen as it will.

That means I will have to lay off the talk of schedules, plans, and goals until I have a more solid base on which to support them. Of course, that may mean my blog will be a little sparse for a while, but I suppose there are worse prices to pay. I can promise a double race report on Monday.

I will say that regardless of fitness, the Iceman is ON and it's going to ROCK! Chrysa was able to procure an entry a couple of weeks ago, so we've got a nice little weekend vacation scheme going.

Also...

Last night, I was struck by the sudden urge to watch my favorite endurance racing movie, albeit not endurance mountain bike racing. I supposed 24 Solo is the lone competitor in that category and while I enjoyed it, I already knew what happened before I watched it, so there wasn't a lot of suspense. I wanted to find a clip from Hildalgo where his "pit crew" chief tells him how hard the race will be and that "men go mad". Oh well, this was the best thing that You Tube produced.

Hmmm

So far only one picture my race last weekend has surfaced. I actually look way less pained going through the sandpit than I thought I did. I made it through the first two times and was only stopped on the third because the girl in front of me spun out and I almost ran into her. However, it was not easy and making it through required screwing my face up into (what I thought to be) the most horrible scowl I can imagine. In reality, it appears to be more of an Elvis curled lip thing. Kind of funny.

I saw somewhere that this is "No Fat Talk Week", so I will refrain from commenting further. However, I think I may save this link to look at next time I want eat junk food when I'm bored at work (a bad habit I've developed lately).

I know I said that would have more on what it would take for me to call a race good. I was going to try and do something funny with my crossresults.com rider page since they attempt to rank your "nemeses" and "victims" for you. It's actually pretty accurate at the moment except that according to them one my nemeses is last year's 13-14 age group national runner-up. The whole age group thing is weird and I'm pretty sure she's actually only 13 right now, although she's already much taller and faster than me. That's way too much untapped potential to be my nemesis.

Harbin Park CX

Yesterday, I attended day three of the three-day Cincinnati Internal Cyclocross Weekend at Harbin Park. When thinking of a race report, two phrases come to mind and I couldn't decide which would be a better title.

"I would have beaten her if I just had a little more fitness."

This is sort of an old inside joke, but I can really only think of one person who will know what I'm talking about, so I will explain. When I was racing beginner class in the DINO series back in 2006, I went to check the results after one of the races and overheard one of the other girls from my class talking. She was saying something like, "Oh yeah, she was the one who got in my way at the start. I would have beaten her if I just had a little more fitness." This was funny because: 1) I'm fairly certain she was talking about me and didn't realize I was standing right there because I'd changed into my street clothes. 2) It's one of the more "duh" statements I've ever heard in regard to bike racing.

Obvious as it may be, I couldn't help thinking of that phrase during the early part of the race yesterday, because I was once again in next-to-last place in between the same two girls from the last race. Apparently, the 20 additional racers that were present yesterday made very little impact on "our" race. I was attempting to battle it out with the girl who beat me last time and I kept passing her in the twisty sections, only to be passed in the straightaways. Apparently, pedaling over grass is like kryptonite for me; I've got to work on the raw power thing. To complicate matters, this race had a lot more bumpy straightaways than the last one and a lot fewer corners. So when she finally passed me on an long, grassy uphill and pulled away, I couldn't help but think, "I could have beaten her if I just had a little more fitness."

"There's no coasting in cyclocross."

Crying is fine, as long as your legs keep moving.

After, she pulled away, I proceeded to be caught by the 35+ age group women who started 30 seconds back, and then by some of the juniors who started after them. Yes, I know I'm weak when the 10-12-year-olds start passing me, and I probably shouldn't admit that. However, the last two races I've had a kid come around me and just sit up. They just stop pedaling on the gradual declines. This bothers me because I'm in a world of hurt and can't stand to lose any bit of momentum. I build speed where I can and maintain it as much as humanly possible. I never stop pedaling, except to lean into turns or absorb shock on bumpy downhills.

Yeah, I know that any adult who's slow enough to be passed by juniors has no room to complain, but it's just an observation I've made.

Overall, I would call this race "Yeah, Fine, Whatever", which is a step or two down from "Perfectly Acceptable". I placed about the same in relation to everyone from the last race, but 20th place sounds worse than 5th and I was hoping for an improvement.

When I set up my Training Peaks account, it prompted me to create an annual training plan and it asked my three top goals for the season and the limiter that had the most effect on each goal. I actually had a hard time thinking of three, so I left one blank for 2009. I was thinking yesterday that number three should be "write a race report where you actually call a race 'good'." I'm not sure about the limiter though; they don't have the choice of "self-esteem" or "all of the above". I'm actually giving some thought to the criteria for meeting that goal and maybe I'll have more on that later in the week.

Random Fact

I just thought I'd share a random fact that I've been meaning to work in for a while. I'm completely deaf in my left ear. You probably wouldn't even know from talking to me, unless you were directly on my left side and I kept turning my head around to hear you. It's not normally a problem, except in situations with a lot of background noise.

It is, however, a little difficult from a cycling perspective. It seems like fairly often I will have a stranger come up on my left while I'm riding and want to start a conversation. I can't hear them without turning my head almost completely around because of the wind. Then I'm crazy sketchy girl who can't hold her line. Awesome.

I also can't use and Ipod when I'm riding outside. You know how people usually just put the right ear bud in and leave the left out so they can hear traffic? Well, if I put in just the right ear bud, I can't hear anything except the music. I'm pretty sure that's a good way to get run over. It doesn't really bother me that much, but I always think of it when other people mention listening to music while riding. I suppose it would be nice if I could...

Like I said, none of this really affects my life in any major way. It's weird because I feel like it's a big enough part of me that it's strange to me when people don't know it, but it's obviously not a big enough part of me that I've been compelled to mention it before now. Of course, I guess I just don't think about it that much; I just see people talking with their cell phone on their left ear and I think, "That's silly. You have your phone on the wrong ear."

Cat 1 Yogi

Tonight I did my first yoga class. Of course, yoga follows a more logical categorization method than cycling, so level 1 is the easiest rather than the hardest.

As part of my "emotional training plan", I am assigned to find a physical activity that will be my best friend. It's supposed to be something that I do every day, no matter how crappy I'm feeling, even if it's just for 15-20 minutes.

I like cycling and all, but it's not really best friend material. Cycling is more like a crazy party friend who's great for a night out, but will occasionally leave you broke and hungover if you're not careful. "Every day no matter what" isn't necessarily the best thing when trying to follow and effective training plan. You need the highs and lows. Plus, it's way too involved with the changing of the clothes, pumping of the tires, etc. to do for 15-20 when you're feeling crappy.

On the other hand, I can do yoga for as much or as little as I want without ever changing out of my pajamas, at least once I've been to a few more classes and have a better grip on what I'm doing. Plus, it will probably be beneficial for my cycling, as well, although I don't think I would have ever been inspired to try it solely for that reason.

So now I can start practicing what I've learned, and hopefully increase my skills in time. I'm looking forward to creating more balance in my life, literally and figuratively. I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

It Must Have Been Love, But It's Over Now

My vacation is over. It was a painful transition going back to work this morning, but as I near the end of the first day, I'm starting to feel normal again. I also remember why it took me over two years of working full-time and racking up hours and hours of vacation time for me to take a week off just for the heck of it. It's just so hard to go back. Random mental health days are cool, but a whole week just had me spoiled.

~~

Yesterday's training ride was doomed; that's all there is to say about that. I had planned a two-hour ride with 60-90 minutes of steady Zone 3 to try and build/maintain my endurance before the onslaught of sheer power and lactic acid that will fill the rest of the fall. However, I set out on the ride in a crappy mood because I had to come back to work today. Then I got stuck a busy intersection for a long time and was nearly run over by a rude driver when I finally made it through. Then when I got to the main road where I was going to start ramping up my effort, I turned in behind a big group ride and had to make my way through. That might have actually been a good thing because I really pushed to get through and pull away, which made the steady state seem easy afterwards. However, it made me feel like I was being all bitchy and I'm-faster-than-you, when all I really wanted to was to get down to business.

Then I finally got settled in to my desired pace and things were rolling along nicely. I was just thinking I might go a little longer than planned, when I heard the a weird whistle and my bike began to shimmy. I slowed to a gentle stop and, sure enough, there was a small cut in my front tire. I switched out the tube, but my Co2 wouldn't engage. I called Adam for help, but he wasn't answering his phone. Finally, some guy came along and let me borrow a C02, and I was able to ride home very tentatively, since I wasn't feeling too confident that my tire would hold air.

Oh well, I guess some days it just isn't meant to be.

~~

There is one funny thing about being stuck back in front of a computer all day. I got to catch up on everyone's weekend blog posts and I was in a very commenty mood today. The weird thing was that I found myself writing "I like..." over and over.

It made me think of my last time at church camp (I used to be REALLY into church camp) the summer before my senior year of high school when none of my friends showed up and I had to stay in a cabin with a bunch of 8th graders that I didn't know. We had to do some exercise where we wrote nice things about eachother on something or other. My comments were extremely generic, because I didn't know any of the girls and they all called me out on it afterwards.

I felt I little like that on my comment spree this morning, but a little more sincere.

Sprintervals

Today was my first hard workout that wasn't a race since my FTP test four weeks ago. It was 3 x 15 sec. sprints, followed by 5 minutes in Zone 5b, repeated 3 times. It reminded me that I like riding hard, at least when I'm well-rested. I've always loved sprints, but even the 5 minute intervals gave me a pleasant sense of self-satisfaction when they were over. It occurred to me during this workout that with my love of skinsuits and sprints, that I would really like track racing. Too bad the nearest velodrome is about an hour and a half away.

I've always been kind of skeptical about the "runner's high" and other endorphin-related mythology. I've been contemplating this a lot lately, as movement/exercise is a component of my emotional "training plan" for the fall. Even with careful observation, I can say the average zone 1-2 ride does very little to elevate my mood. However, throw some lactic acid in the mix, and I'm suddenly a happy camper. Am I secretly more masochistic than I imagined? I'm kind of liking this.

All of this bodes well for the next couple of month's racing. During my free time this week, I signed up for a Training Peaks personal account. I like the freedom to make my own training decisions right now, but I also like having a calendar and electronic toys to play with. And I have been playing to my little heart's content. I already have my workouts planned through the last 'cross race on December 7th, although I'm sure a few changes will occur. In short, I won't be spending much time on the bike (~5 hours/week), but when I'm riding, I'll be riding hard. It's just the way it goes with the frequent and intense racing of 'cross season: race, recover, and repeat, as needed.

I think this could be a very good thing for me.

Brown County Ride

I went to Brown County yesterday, but I didn't ride the whole trail system as planned. The new expert trail took a lot more out of me than I expected. It's not crazy freeride hard like Adam tried to tell me it is, but it's hard. With a few exceptions, I at least theoretically knew how to ride everything there, even if I didn't manage to do it in practice. I got pretty sloppy by the end, due to handling skills inertia: the principle of mountain bike physics that states that bodies successfully riding over obstacles have the tendency to successfully ride over even harder obstacles, and bodies stopping and/or making mistakes have the tendency to have to stop more frequently and/or make even stupider mistakes.

As for the exceptions, one of them is pictured above. It appears to Indiana's first naturally occurring rock garden. Pretty cool. If you'd asked me to ride this trail a year ago, I would have thought it was the dumbest idea ever. I was very committed to not riding anything excessively technical, because "I would never actually see anything like that in a race." Until the Ouachita Challenge kicked my butt and changed my mind about technical riding. So now I have a nifty little place to practice. Too bad our good friend the freeze-thaw cycle will keep likely keep me off of it for the three months preceding the race.

The trail does have a couple of freeride-esque features of which I want no part. I can't actually remember how many switchbacks there are, but at least two of them end in large drops off of big rocks that terminate into piles of other rocks. Big drop+rough landing does not make me happy. Oh well, overall, I liked what I saw.

Nothing Makes a Perfectly Acceptable Cyclocross Race Even More Acceptable Than Cracker Barrel

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I somehow forget to mention my cyclocross season kickoff in my plans for my week off. I guess that shows how excited I was. Anyway, I raced in then OVCX race in Louisville today and, of course, we went to eat at Cracker Barrel afterward. (This is not a violation of my no junk food policy, as that mainly applied to junk food consumed while sitting in front of the television. If I just finished a race, I'm wearing clothes besides my pajamas, and I have another human being with me then it makes it slightly more legit.)

Anyway, the race...

A few months ago when I was experimenting with my whole zen phase (I'm learning secular meditation works way better for me), I visited the Buddhist temple (?) down the street from our house. It was interesting and a little confusing, but one of the things I did take away was that their three mains sins (they used a less harsh word) were greed, anger, and delusion. Today I learned that avoiding these things is not only key to reaching nirvana, but also to having a satisfying cyclocross race.

Despite still be very sleepy and definitively un-pumped when we arrived at the venue, I knew I had to get out and do a proper warm-up if I didn't want to feel like complete doo doo during the race. Since 'cross is full-bore from the gun, it's pretty important to already have your lactic acid blockers running before you get to the starting line. Unfortunately, this means getting your lactic acid production running before you get to the starting line. This is a lot more difficult when you don't have competition prodding you to go fast yet.

However, today I had no problem getting my "juices" flowing on my warm-up, because the course was making me work pretty freaking hard just to cover ground. I ended up just riding two laps and it was enough, even without any intervals.

As I was rolling back in from my second lap, I was told by the official that they were moving our race from 11:00 to 12:00 and they were taking the one set of barriers out of the course. We were racing with the very young juniors and the promoters had decided the course was technical enough without a set of double barriers preceding a run-up hill. I feel like a wuss admitting this, but I didn't totally disagree with them.

ANGER. The consequence of the last minute schedule change was that my warm-up was all for not. There wasn't a whole lot to do, except go back to the car and wait, since there was another race going on and I hadn't brought a trainer. As I did this, the girl from a couple of cars over came back came back all worked up about the change. Of course, she looked way faster than me and maybe had more on the line, but I couldn't help thinking how mellow and basically un-like my former self I was compared to her. Win or lose, it's just a cat 3/4 race, anyway.

DELUSION. Much of this change in attitude comes from accepting that I'm bad at 'cross. This isn't self-deprecating low self esteem here; I just don't have much natural power. Last year, I took 'cross very seriously and I was repeatedly put in my place by first timers. Today, I showed up and I road well for me. I beat one person, as was my goal and I was very close to the girl in front of me. The top three in my class were all what I would call "legitimately fast" girls, so I don't feel bad about being behind them. My handling skills were on point and one my competitors said I looked like I had a lot more power than last year.

GREED. This one might be a little harder to keep in check. Seeing as I had a better-than-expected race today and was totally within sight of picking off another girl by the end, I'm suddenly inspired to train again. That's cool. I haven't done a hard workout since the DINO Town Run race, and I was planning on using this week to get back into the groove. My "sprintervals" workout that I had planned for Friday suddenly seems almost appetizing.

However, I soooo not going start allowing myself to start looking at start lists and researching who, according my ego and random results I've Googled, I should and should not be able to beat like I did last year. That's how delusion starts.

Four More Hours

I'm counting down until 5:00 p.m. I think that's pretty normal for a Friday when I don't have much work to do and I'm just kind of holding down the fort until time to go home. However, today is special, because when 5:00 p.m. hits, I'm off for 9 glorious days of work-freeness. I'm taking a "staycation" next week, so that I can recharge my batteries. I don't really have any plans except for doing my stress management exercises, riding at least an hour every day, and avoiding putting junk food in my mouth.

On one of the days, probably Wednesday, I'm going to go to Brown County and make a leisurely tour of the entire trail system. I'm not sure how long this will take, since I don't plan on going fast and they are continuously building more trails out there.

Apparently, new expert trail has opened since the last time I was there and I want to check it out. Adam warned me that it looked really hard from the videos on HMBA, and it probably wouldn't be something I would like. According to him, it's "the kind of stuff dudes on 5-inch travel bikes like to do". Or it could be exactly the kind of stuff I need to ride before I try racing outside of Indiana again. I supposed I'll find out when I get there. The plus is that I won't have to compete with the 5-inch travel dudes for space, but if I do something stupid and hurt myself, it may a while before anyone finds me. So I'll just have to make sure I don't do anything stupid and I should probably go watch that video first.

Secret Singletrack

This is the entry to the trail that Adam showed me on our couple ride the other night. Nice, huh? It's actually better once you get past the first tree, but it sure doesn't look like much here. I went and did the ride again by myself last night to make sure I remembered it. I did, and I had a good time.

Once you come out the other side of the trail, it dumps out on a flat country road that runs along the edge a creek the whole way. It's really pretty. A lot of the country roads east of town are like this: glacial ridge with a creek at the bottom on one side, and pancake flat on the other (usually with a log cabin and horse on the other side). It's pretty fun because it allows me to at least pretend I live in the mountains.

My New Training Plan

I am home alone for the next few days while Adam is away at Interbike (I better get some good presents when he gets back), so I may be spending my free time blogging a little more than usual.

Anyway, while I don't like to disclose my "secret" mountain bike locations, I thought I'd let the world in on my "secret training plan" for the fall. It starts with with this and this.

Triathlete training books/articles always say to maintain your strengths and train your weaknesses. The meaning is a little more obvious when the athlete in question has to manage a regimen of swim, bike, and run, but cyclists only have to train for one thing, right?

Well, not really. If this were the case, the would only be a "physical" category when calculating the CNS balance. Lately, I've come to realize that the physical part of my cycling was grossly hampered by the emotional part. Not in the "positive self-talk" sport psychology way, but in the "I don't want to ride because I'm already in physical pain from all the crap that happened at work today" regular psychology way. So far I've learned that the problem isn't what's happening at work, but how I'm reacting to it. I'm sure this program has sport psychology benefits, too, but first things first.

For the moment, the physical component in is maintenance phase while I build a stronger emotional (less uptight) foundation. I need to unwrap the ball I've been winding myself into for the last few years, and really since about kindergarten. Who knows? I might be freakin' fast without all the tension wearing me down, making me hate training, and hampering my recovery.

For my competition: Just remember, while you're out doing your "six hour rides" or your "hill repeats", or "lifting weights", I'm at home doing "Soft Belly" and drawing pictures of my feelings. AND I'M COMING FOR YOU.

Okay, okay. Just a little joke there. I really have no idea where this experience will take me. It's just as likely that I might decide that my non-overbearing perfectionist self thinks racing bikes is stupid. Only time will tell and I've decided to accept whatever resolution comes.

Walking Away a Winner

When I got home from work today, there was a package in the mailbox for ME and I hadn't even ordered anything. So my next question was, "Who the heck do I know in Harrisburg, VA?" Since it's sort of the East Coast mecca of mountain biking, I could name a lot of a people who live there, but probably none who would be sending me stuff. Upon opening, this is what I found:

The note says, "Sorry you couldn't make it. Enjoy the fall!"

Thanks, I plan to.

Not to say I didn't get a little sad at the contents: "I had a number plate...it was laminated and it had my name on it...and my name was even spelled right. I was going to be number 203..."

Fine. What's done it is done. When I first posted this picture back in June, I said it made me want to cry. It still kind of does, but it also brings to mind something else, namely 90's era country music.

I'm walking away a winner,

Walking away from a losing game,

With my pride intact and my vision back I can say

I know where I'm going and I know I'll be alright

I'm walking away a winner walking back into my life.

I had big plans for myself this season, but I didn't really understand what I was getting into at the time. For example, my "goal" going into the Ouachita Challenge was to finish in sub 7 hours. Goal=number I completely pulled out of my butt without a freaking clue. So I'm going back next spring with the same goal in mind, except this time I know what I'm getting into. I know that hitting that mark will be a huge challenge, but it's one worth taking on.

My training has already begun. Yeah, I know I've been saying I'm laying off for a bit this fall, but this training has nothing to do with the a bike. More on that tomorrow.

Annual Couple Ride

Today was the Adam and Lindsay Rodkey Annual Couple Ride. No, this is not an official thing that we do once a year, but it's annual because every time we try to ride together, it generally ends so badly that we don't try it again for another year. For example, the last time we rode together was October of last year at Brown County and it ended with the worst crash I've ever had, because I was pushing myself too hard on a descent so that I wouldn't slow him down.

This is the general outline for why things go badly. He's way faster than me; even with me going fast and him going easy there's still an ability gap. So I tend to ride harder than I want to ride, still get dropped, and then feel bad because I'm wasting his time. I like to think of cycling as a mutual interest and topic of conversation between us, but not necessarily something that should be done together.

However, yesterday he offered to show me a new cyclocross ride that I've never been on, and I decided to accept for a number of reasons: 1) I wanted to learn the route. 2) I knew I needed to ride hard today, but I didn't have a specific plan since I'm now coachless. 3) It's been nearly a year since the last time and I thought, "Why not?"

It actually went pretty well, because I decided not to worry too much if I was slowing him down too much. He had already done his real training ride earlier, so this was bonus for him anyway. The route went through some bike trails and neighborhoods and then dumped into a bit of singletrack and the end of a dead end street. Then it connected with some country roads east of town that are among my winter dirt road staples.

I was riding pretty decent until the final turn going into town, which was maybe a 5 mile stretch. There's a big hill at the beginning of the road that always kills me and today was no different. After reaching the top, I realized that I was pretty far into the red zone and that I wasn't going to get my HR back down below threshold unless I started going extra slow. This is the point where the couple ride actually went well for once. Had I been alone, I probably would have given up and soft-pedaled my butt home, but since Adam was with me, I put my head down and just rode back to town as fast I could stand. I figured if my HR wouldn't stay down, I should just go for it; I don't have anything to be fresh for in the next few days anyway. So he just tucked in behind me, and acted as a silent motivator on my wheel. It was kind of cool.

I will probably try that ride again by myself on Tuesday to make sure I can navigate it on my own. It should be a good addition to my winter training route catalogue. It still might be months before Adam and I try to ride together again, but this time went well enough, it might be a semi-annual thing. ;^)

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

After a couple of weeks of brain-wracking indecision, I have decided to go coachless for the remainder of the fall season. I'm completely sad and completely relieved all at once. Sad for obvious reasons, and relieved because I can officially do (or not do) whatever I want cycling-wise right now. I'm going through some big changes right now and I need freedom.

Plus, the biggest period of improvement that I've ever had was on extremely simple self-designed training for 6-9 hours a week. Quite frankly, I was faster then than I am now, mostly because of consistency and weighing about 15 pounds less from not engaging in so much stress-related eating.

I will probably return to professional coaching again at some point, but for the time being I plan to save my money while I get my head on straight.

Double Digits

So here's another reason why I should have raced 'cross last weekend: the results. Double digit fields in both the 1/2/3 and 3/4 fields (if you add the two age groups together). This was the first race of the season and not even UCI sanctioned. That rocks!

If only mountain bike fields were growing like that. Racing tends to be more fun with more people; I guess it makes it more like a race instead of a time trial.

Nothing Takes the Taste of Shame and Humiliation Out of Your Mouth Like Cracker Barrel

Yes, that was another Prairie Home Companion reference (or at least paraphrasing one).

The DINO season finale was a bust for me. Town Run park is a crazy little 7 mile BMX track stuck in the middle of Indianapolis, which makes a unique specter on the series calendar. I've done decently there in the past, but there is always the possibility of some unknown local who knows how to rail every turn showing up and kicking the butt of a more seasoned non-local. Thus, the shame and humiliation.

Luckily, Cracker Barrel there to ease the pain afterwards. It helped me remember why I race bikes. I've been debating the question of my motivation to race ever sense I read the "happy cow" article on the VeloNews a few months ago and today biscuits seemed like as good of reason as any. Lately I've also been exploring stuff like "it's the thing that keeps me from becoming a crazy cat lady", but I'm not ready to expand on that so.....biscuits.

Anyway, by the time the race was over, I knew it was time for cyclocross. I've been suspecting it was time for cyclocross since last Tuesday when a cool breeze struck me with the overwhelming urge to drink hot apple cider, wear a skinsuit, and carry a bike over crap.

Then I had a "change of theme song". For someone with admittedly horrible musical tastes, I have a need to apply lyrics to almost every situation in my life. For the last nine or so months, "Mama Mia" has come to mind when I think of 'cross (a cheating lover that you just can't let go of) to "Wide Open Spaces" (new faces, room to make the big mistakes).

Mostly, I'm sick of cracking under the pressure I've placed on myself to simultaneously cat up to Expert and break into endurance superstardom this season. The beauty of this is that I already made this mistake with 'cross last year and my cheating lover and I have come to a pleasant mutual agreement: That I'm bad at 'cross, but that's no reason break up with it.

Right now, that's exciting for me. It means I get to sashay up to the registration table, flop down my Cat 4 license, suffer for 30 minutes, and walk away satisfied if I beat even one person. Because I'm bad at 'cross, the competition is pretty impersonal, and wearing skinsuits and carrying your bike over crap in cold weather is fun. Especially when it's followed biscuits.

Bump

I really don't have a lot to say at the point in the week. I haven't been feeling well and training is sliding again. However, I thought that my silly dream post had sat at the top of the page long enough. Hopefully, I will have a decent race report to fill in with Sunday.

Way More Interesting Than My Real-Life Cycling

As I have alluded to in the past, I have quite an active dream life. It's way more interesting than my actual life, which is probably why I'd sleep 12+ hours a day, given my own devices. I like to say that my subconcious is my greatest form of entertainment. However, this weekend's dreams were especially cycling related and fairly entertaining, so I thought I'd share.

In the middle of various other events of Friday night, I found myself competing in a 6 hour race. It was a fun little course consisting of a one-mile lap which ran through a hospital emergency room, down a technical descent, and back up a gradual hill to the start. The dream picked up during the final few laps where I was racing to meet my goal of 60 laps in 6 hours. I was trying to make up time by becoming more and more aggressive on the descent every lap. There were three possible lines: one steep and rough with no drops, one with multiple 2-3 foot drops, and the possibility to just ride off a 12 foot drop to the trail below. So the last two laps, I rode the 12 foot drop...on my Anthem. It's wasn't quite a "flying dream", but close enough, considering my technical skills in real life. Anyway, the course was lined with cheering fans as I sprinted up the final climb to the finish and I completed my 60th lap with just seconds to spare. Cool, huh?

Saturday night took it a step further when I dreamt I was looking through and old scrapbook and found a newspaper article where I was quoted regarding the controversial relegation of (imaginary) mountain bike legend Juan Andreas to silver during the 1996 Olympics. Of course, this sparked (more imaginary) memories of how I met the famed Juan Andreas on the set of an MTV reality program documenting the a group of mountain bike racers at different competitive levels during the summer leading up to the 1996 Olympics. How do I know it was 1996? Because we wore A LOT of neon crap that has since worked its way out of the sport for the most part. Apparently, I had been chosen as the female neo-mountain biker to add a bit of a "Made" element to the show. I can't remember the male newbie's name, just that he was a frat-boy like dork. The sexy Juan Andreas was the real star of the show, and he had just broken up with female medal contender Victoria Something-Or-Other of South Africa. Anyway, after having affairs with all the female cast members Juan Andreas fell short of the gold, due to some unnamed bad call from the officials. We parted ways, but I apparently learned some valuable lessons about the sport, got quoted in a newspaper, and made some good memories.

I don't know. I kind of like this version of mountain biking history better. The one problem is that I was actually 15 during the summer of 1996, but it didn't seem to both Juan.

So how was YOUR weekend?

Down With FTP? Yeah, You Know Me.

I finally had a successful FTP test today. I would call it a "perfectly acceptable first FTP test" after not even being able to make it through the 20 minutes a few weeks ago. I wasn't going eyes-bugging-out hard the entire time, but it was a good effort, good enough to make it through at pace. I averaged 148 watts for 20 minutes, which is about what I expected. It's not stellar, but it's farther up the chart than my sprint power. I would like to see 200 by next spring, but I'll have to ask Coach Dave if that's a reasonable goal or not when he gets back from this weekend's collegiate moutain bike race.

The Closest I'll Get to Running This Cyclocross Season

I'm not vehemently opposed to running as part of a cyclocross training program, but I think a lot of people consider it more necessary that it really is. For example, Adam started his fall running program yesterday, but I think that it's just because it's something he likes to do this time of year. Plus, he has a lot of triathlete friends, so I think it gives him a chance to have something in common with them. However, I will never fully buy in to running as effective training for cyclocross.

The fact of the matter is that running for 30 minutes at aerobic pace in proper running shoes has very little to do with carrying a bike and jumping over stuff while wearing mountain bike shoes. I don't think of it as running, so much as I performing a complicated task while your body is racked with lactic acid. So you're better off either increasing you cycling fitness so there is less lactic acid to complicate matters or practice the specific action you will be performing so that you're so good at it that the lactic acid won't matter.

Whatever. If you like running, go for it. If you don't, it's not necessary.

However, all of the not-running that I've been doing lately doesn't detract the anticipation I feel for my autumn favorite college sport kicking into gear. While the logical conclusion for most people would be football, I still have way more interest in the good ol' Oklahoma State Cowgirl cross country. It's not much of a spectator sport and it's been a few years since I've known any of the remaining team members, but even at 27, I still check the weekend's results every Monday morning.

I am one of those losers that never gets over their teenage glory days, even though mine weren't even that glorious. Being a college athlete was the coolest thing I've ever done and running simply didn't hold much appeal to me after it was over.

Anyway, in my search for pre-season polls etc., I've stumbled over a couple of pieces of great sports journalism that I couldn't stand not share. I just hope I'm not the only one who finds them funny.

"The bottom line is this: Kovtun can run and she could emerge as a leader this cross country season." - OSU website

"Oklahoma St. is like a mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows where they got all this talent, and darned if they know how to use it. They are the wild card this year, could be the champions, could be 10th." - Trackshark.com, in reference to the men's team

So forgive me for sharing yet another bit of nerdery; it seems to be the theme of the week. Saturday is my next FTP test and I'm hoping for some good results (or at least results). After that, I'll start transitioning back to big girl training again, and it definitely won't include running. Scary.

Is It Weird To Sing To Your Bike?

I had a good weekend with my mom, but the whole thing left me a little drained, not to mention the fact that I ate about 20,000 calories in a 3-day period. I'm just going through a stage where I get very tired and stressed easily, and the only thing that makes me feel better is solitary time with a book or movie. Needless to say, it's hard to get much of that with company all weekend.

So I was pretty grumpy last night knowing that most of my last day of "freedom" would be spent driving to and doing a race simulation on the mountain bike and I was hating the idea so bad that I almost backed out. However, I knew I really needed to get this workout in for a variety of reasons, so I compromised with myself and agreed to only do the 2:15 race simulation and not the "up to 5 hours" of bonus riding that was prescribed "if I felt like it".

Things seemed a little better this morning when I woke up and I felt a little less disgusting from all the weekend's food consumption. To make things better, I decided to drive a little further to an undisclosed location in Southern Indiana and avoid the Labor Day traffic at Brown County. This turned out to be the best idea of ever, as I had a fairly nice trail system all to myself for the entire three laps. I'm sure the location won't be too hard to figure out for those in the know, but I think I'll not advertise, as I'm now fully convinced that the extra driving is worth it. To make things even better, my effort was noticeably less gut-wrenching than my race two weeks ago, so my fitness must be coming back, at least a little.

Anyway, on the way there the song "The Boys of Summer" came on the radio and I had the sudden urge to sing along to my Anthem, which was sitting in the back. It sounds a little weird, but it was somehow totally appropriate and mood-lifting. I'm also guessing that I'm not the only person who's ever sung to their bike, or at least felt like it. The part about "I don't understand what happened to our love, but babe I'm gonna get you back, I'm gonna show you what I'm made of", struck a cord with me.

Heck, the name of this blog came from my trying to entertain myself on the trainer with the tale of underdogs Lindsay and Jake (my cyclocross bike) trying to make it to the elite class of the Louisville USGP last season. So we didn't make it (and still won't this year), but we had a good time.

Meh

I just haven't been inspired to post lately. My training is just kind of cruising along, without anything super exciting. I don't have another race for two weeks, and then its just a DINO race, which I expect to be much like the last DINO race, except slightly less painful. I'm a long way from being back in the mix competitively, and I'm okay with that. I know that several steady, unexciting weeks of training are necessary to get me where I was earlier in the year. I just want to not get last place in my class at Iceman and I will be happy. Ten weeks to get that accomplished.

Training will slow down a bit for the next couple of days, since my mom is coming to visit and then I've got my next big butt-kicker workout on Monday. Maybe it will garner some training tales worth telling.

***

The one interesting thing I can think of is that last night I did an easy 45-minute ride with sprints mixed in. I've been dying to sprint really hard since I got the power meter, but botched TT's and the last race had my legs feeling unsprintable until my day off on Sunday. So last night was a good time, but when I got home and compared my data to "the chart by which I measure my self-worth" (kidding, of course), my suspicions that I'm no Thor Hushovd were confirmed. Right now, my max power is hanging out in the "untrained" territory near the bottom of the page. Of course, I'm actually required to sprint in races, like, never, so I suppose that's okay.

Extra Rest

I seems that last week's race took even more of a toll on me than I thought, as I'm still not recovered from it, despite a relative easy training week since. So after a long debate with myself, I decided to stay in bed this morning instead of getting up at 6:00 to do a long ride at Town Run. I need to be getting more long stuff in, but I also think that another butt-kicking effort in my unrecovered state would mostly just dig me into a hole. So I stayed home, slept until noon, and enjoyed crazy dreams about tornados and putting underwear on cats (because that would somehow protect them from the tornados).

I'm trying not to feel guilty since I think I made the best decision for my next couple of week's training. With things ramping up, I can afford to start tired and now, hopefully, I won't be.

Wednesday Night Weirdness

As I mentioned the other day, Coach Dave has scheduled all my workouts up until a few days before the DINO 6/12/24 hour race. Things are looking pretty good, because its about as close to the perfect "get back into shape and try to save the end of the season" plan as I can imagine. It starts off very easy, with each week increasing in volume and intensity. Sundays are long and moderate/hard to get ready for the 12 hour, but the weekdays are pretty kind so that I'll be able to recover. For example, this week had my usual Monday off, then easy 45 minute spins on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. My only "hard" workout for the week was a 1.5 hour group ride last night.

For my group ride, I made another attempt Wednesday Night Worlds. It was a little strange because the ride started out relatively easy. I had to push to stay on a few times due to the yo-yo effect of riding at the back of the pack, but most of the time the pace was comfortable even for me. Then the group spontaneously turned back toward town after only 35 minutes and broke out in a superfast pace line. I didn't even get a chance to tack on, much less get dropped. It turns out they have a loop they use for crit practice out there that I didn't know about.

After separating from the group, I just headed home because I wasn't really feeling it anyway. I was still tired from the race on Sunday and I found it really hard to get into the idea of a group ride since I'm not going to be doing it every week. There's too much of a learning curve involved (last night as an example) for me to do well just randomly showing up once in while. I'm not saying I won't do it again; I'm just saying last night wasn't the night for it and I'm cool with that.

The rest of the week should be good since I'm just riding short and easy every day until Sunday, which is a two-hour "race simulation" with up to four hours of total riding if I feel okay. I'm hoping to go ride at Town Run Park, the venue for the next DINO race, while Adam races a crit in Indianapolis. I'm thinking if I can get in three laps hard and three laps easy, that should be a good start for my 12 hour training.

Forgot the Best Part

I forgot the best part of my race report when I wote it earlier today. To demonstrate the depth of my glycogen depleted stupor after the race, I must add the part where I managed to moon a whole EZ up tent full of relative strangers. My train of thought went something like this:

1) Wrapping towel around my waist so that I could pull off shorts
2) To self: "Gee, this would be easier if this stupid towel wasn't in way"
3) Flipping towel up and pulling down shorts
4) To self: "Wow, that breeze on my butt feels nice. Wait, why do I have a breeze on my butt?"
5) Quickly yanking towel back down
6) Looking around to see who noticed

Everyone acted like they didn't notice, which was nice of them, but it also made it awkward for me decided if I should apologize for mooning them or just act like nothing happened. I opted for a short "Sorry guys!" and an embarrassed smile. If they knew what I was talking about, fine. If not, fine.

A Perfectly Acceptable First Race Back

Over the past couple of weeks, I've had a lot of mixed feelings about the DINO Logansport race. It's exciting to be riding and racing again, but I was also scared because my few "post-return" attempts at hard workouts have not gone so well. It appears that a getting a virus in June and then riding about 4 hours total for the entire month of July has whittled my ability to ride hard down to about 5 minutes at a time. That's not a good sign going into a 20+ mile mountain bike race.

I've been hearing a lot about this whole "positive self talk" thing lately and decided it was worth a try. However, going into the race I was having a hard time determining the line between positive, negative, and realistic. By the time I hit the starting line yesterday, I still hadn't figured that out.

I opted to just start the race and see what happened. I went out at a conservative pace and put little thought into who was in front of or behind me and by how much. I knew I just needed to get through the three laps at the best pace I could and I would be happy. Somehow during the first few miles, those thoughts turned into my mantra, "A Perfectly Acceptable First Race Back", which I repeated over and over to myself. I had no concern for my place or time, I just wanted to finish without slowing down, quitting, or crying.

I managed to avoid the last two, but the last lap did result in a spectacular bonk and the loss of power in all but about three muscle fibers in my body. It hurt so bad and by the time I was done the beginner race had started and I had to battle the onslaught of men in baggy shorts with their Fruit of the Looms peeking out trying to get around me. Pretty embarrassing, but sticking it out seemed imperative after all the mechanicals and DNF's this season has brought. So I finished, and I was satisfied.

When it was all over, I was the hungriest and most tired I've ever remember being after a race, even the Ouachita Challenge. My sugar-ban was temporarily suspended as we stopped by Adam's hometown where we got ice cream and then went to visit his parent's house. That's okay, though, since it was all very necessary for restoring my brain and muscle function and it may go down in my mind as the best ice cream/Ritz crackers/salad/pizza/pie (all in a two-hour span) I've ever eaten.

Poked

I promised tales of accunpuncture and FTP tests today, but I didn't say they would be exciting.

The accupuncture was interesting, but I'm not cured of whatever's ailing me yet. The highlight was the lady telling me that I was too young too be feeling so worn out. I'm trying to not to read too much into that philosophically.

Despite gritty determination, the FTP test didn't happen, or at least not well enough to get good data from. I've had two ridiculously bad work days in a row and my whole body was hurting from the stress. I simply do not have a time trial in me at this time. Hopefully, I've got enough power data for a reasonable guess as to my training zones and I can just work on getting back into normal training until my next scheduled test in about four weeks. All my workouts are already scheduled between now and then and they look surprisingly kind. I think my next few week's schedule will be good for building my confidence back.

I Don't Feel Like It

"What?" you ask. Anything.

After completing my class (A-) and starting to ride again, I attempted a time trial last Tuesday that has left me completely blown up mentally and physically ever since. I still haven't done my FTP test, but it is on tap for tomorrow. I think part of the problem was trying to go too hard, too soon, and the other part is that I'm just feeling too well to begin with. Without dragging on and sounding like a crazy hypochrodriac (more than I do already), I'll say I'm embarking on a multi-faceted plan to restore my mental and physical well-being. For the moment, I'm working on de-sugarizing my diet (18 hours clean) and I've got an appointment with an accupuncturist tomorrow. I'm not really sure what I'm expecting, but it's just something I wanted to try.

I will be back tomorrow with tales of being stabbed with needles, both by a stranger and by myself (at least metaphorically during my FTP test).

The Iceman May Cometh After All

A few months ago I mentioned the fact that I had decided to forgo entering the lottery for an Iceman spot, because I was hoping to win one through the DINO series. I compared my strategy to a poker game rather than a lottery. The thing is, it's all gambling and it became pretty apparent once the season was underway that I didn't have much of a hand to play.

Well, I'll spare you any more metaphors and say that I have it looks like I have another chance. A few days ago, the Velo Bella pro team manager posted an announcement on the team listserv that he and some of the pro team members were going to be at Iceman and that the race directors had offered him a few spots for non-pro members, as well. I replied within minutes that I was 100% interested, but I haven't got an official reply yet. However, I'm too excited to keep the news to myself any longer.

I'm excited for a number of reasons. The greatest of which is that I now have 14 weeks until my last mountain bike race of the season. As my "reunion tour" post from the other day may indicate, I'm really committed to squeezing as much as I can out of the remaining months of 2008. 'Cross is fun at all, but it's not my strong suit. I'm excited about the opportunity to test myself against a strong field of female mountain bikers and the fact that I actually still have time to get in shape for it.

Also, I'm excited about getting to stay with other Velo Bella members before the race. I'm sure it won't be quite the go-go boot wearing, wine tasting, disco dancing party that imagine all Velo Bella gatherings to be, but it should be fun. Hopefully, it will be the extra boost I need to be bring my "A" game.

So it feels like things are finally starting to fall into place for me in the strangest of ways. I really hope that can fall in with them and make the most of the opportunities that I've been given.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

So "summer vacation" in grown-up world means unexpectedly taking off a Thursday and Friday from work because I'm about to lose my mind. However, it is Sunday night and despite the usual dread of going back to work tomorrow, my sanity it intact, as promised. So what have I done for the last four days?

Well, most importantly, I finished all the work for my class a week early. No more school for me!!!

Secondly, I returned to training and celebrated with a the purchase of a power meter. However, I haven't got much use out of said power meter yet, because the installation and debugging of both the unit and the software turned out to be more difficult than planned. I had it working tenuously at best on Friday night and I came to the decision that I needed to postpone my field test until I got all of the kinks worked out. I just couldn't bring myself to pedal my guts out for 20 minutes, unless I was 99% sure I'd have usable results to deliver to Coach Dave when I was done. So Saturday morning I went out just played to make sure everything was working. I think I've got it figured out now.

Today my friend Chrysa and I pre-rode the course for the Logansport DINO race. We didn't accomplish as much as I had hoped, because the trail system is kind of a mish mesh and it took me forever to find the correct route. Basically, we rode for nearly two hours trying to find our way through a 25-minute lap. It was fun though, since we haven't got to hang out for quite a while since she's been injured and I've been hiding out in my basement doing homework.

So now my vacation's over and I have to take a shower and drag my tired body to bed. I wish it could last longer, but if I had more time I probably would have just procrastinated more. It's the way it goes. At least I more or less got everything I needed to do done.

I Haz a Power Meter. What Doez I Do Wif It?

Yes, after all the dreaming, debating, motivating, and demotivating, I have a power meter. I wanted to get myself a gift to celebrate the end of class and my return to training and since I was able to purchase a used basic model (not wireless) from an anquaintance for $350, it seemed like a reasonable thing to do. It's roughly a third of what I expectly to spend on a new top-of-the-line model, but this one will do everything I need it do. The wireless thing wouldn't have really helped that much anyway, because I don't have multiple bikes to switch it around on.

My first field test is Saturday. I don't expect much since I'm horribly out of shape at the moment, but it will give me a baseline to work with and make me feel really good after the huge improvement I will inevitable have on my second test in a few weeks. Other than a slight fear that my FTP will be 98 watts or something, I'm excited. Hopefully it will turn out to be the priceless investment that I've been dreaming of for over a year now. If not, at least I got a good deal.

New Stuff

To go along with my odd feeling that the 2008 season never REALLY started, my 2008 team kit just arrived in the mail today. It's very, um, black. In addition to the normal bibs and jersey, I also got a thermal jacket and short-sleeved skinsuit for early season 'cross races. It may be weird, but I really love wearing skinsuits. The long sleeve one I got last year was my favorite thing ever, but I'm a little worried because I discovered that the new one has a man-chamois instead of the pretty pink women's one like last year. It's very thick and weird feeling.

Since Campbell was laying on the bed during the photo shoot, I decided to contrast him with the black cat on the shorts. However, the light in our bedroom is weird and the picture didn't turn out too well.

In other news, I rode my bike TWO DAYS IN A ROW. It shouldn't be big news, but it kind of is right now. I'm slowly getting back on the right track.

The Lindsay Rodkey Reunion Tour: Coming to a Town Near You (If you live in any of the towns listed below).

The reunion being between me and my bike(s), of course. I have more or less disposed of my classwork and only the final paper remains. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I have taken Thursday and Friday off work to ensure that I can spend a long weekend riding, writing, and relaxing and still have my sanity intact on Monday. More importantly, this weekend marks the transition between the sucktastic season that never really got off it's feet, and the remaining months of racing that I hope enjoy before packing it in for another long winter. So starting with an easy spin tonight, the following is a list planned stops in the Lindsay Rodkey Reunion Tour:

August 17: DINO Logansport, IN. The site of the greatest sport race of my career. It rained, people crashed, it was awesome.

September 14: Town Run Park, Indianapolis, IN. The DINO finale on the "7-mile BMX track". I may or may not do well, but it will be fun.

September 28: Warsaw, IN. 12 of the 24 Hours of DINO and my last shot at endurance racing for 2008. Just pedal (but not too slow because the course is rolly and maintaining speed is important).

October 10-12: OVCX's Cincinnati Area Three-Day International Cyclocross Weekend. Pretty lofty title to kick off my 'cross season. The Sunday race at Harbin Park is my favorite 'cross race, so I won't miss that, but it's too soon to say if I will be attending the Friday and/or Saturday races.

October 25-26: USGP Louisville. The biggest race in the Midwest, but I have to remember to wear my Velo Bella Hallow-flair this year.

Undecided Interim 'cross race sometime in November.

November 30: Storm the Greens, Louisville, KY. I've never been to this one, but I hear it's good.

December 7: Brookside Park, Indianapolis, IN. The state championship and the only "real" 'cross race on Indiana soil. This course is also a favorite of mine.

The festivities may or may not conclude with the Lindsay Rodkey Big Fat Cycling Vacation in December. I've been contemplating this for a while, but it's still too soon to decide. On our third Christmas as married people, Adam finally agreed to come spend the holiday with my crazy family in Oklahoma last year. In return, I'm planning to spend the actual day of Christmas with his family this year, but I will be making a trip home some time in December. So I've been contemplating a) jumping into the women's 3-4 race at 'cross nationals in Kansas City b) stopping to visit the rocks in Arkansas c) all of the above.

Of course, while Kansas and Arkansas both border Oklahoma, neither is actually on the way to or from my parents' house. However, I figure if I'm driving west of the Mississippi it's worth it to detour for recreational purposes. It will just depend on weather, fitness, and finances when the time rolls around.

Upgrade

Well, after a couple of near-misses in the job world this summer, I was promoted to Senior Assistant Director in my current job. For comparison purposes, it's the equivalent of getting your expert license. Let just hope my first expert "season" goes better at work than it has in mountain biking.

So far it is. Now that the promotion stress is over, I took account today and we are doing way better than this time last year, so that's one less thing to worry about. At least that one less thing to get bogged down about. Or maybe I just learned my lesson about work stress last year.

Oh Man

Despite the fact we're still in the middle of the Tour, the fact is that road racing season's basically over anyway. The astute rider has already written it off and begun focussing his or her attention on cyclocross. The key to a successful racing season is to always live a minimum of four months in the future, mentally-speaking. That way you can dismiss your poor performances as simple preparation. Sure, you may not get anywhere near the front of the pack in a road race this summer, but you're just trying to get some intense mileage in so you'll be ready for cyclocross season. Poor mountain bike racing is even easier to rationalize--you're just doing that to improve your bike-handling. And of course once 'cross season does begin, you're still under no pressure to get results because, really, you're just doing it to maintain your form during the off-season. With the right attitude, you can surf an entire year of racing like a great big wave of mediocrity. Winning is for dopers and sandbaggers. - BikeSnob NYC

Dude, I think he's been reading my mind. I'm actually still living 2.5 weeks in the future for the day that my class is over, but I won't lie and say that the cyclocross isn't already worming its way into my mind. I just have to keep reminding myself I'm really, really, bad at it. :)

Decisions

The decision handed down to me: I didn't get the job. I'll refrain from comment there.

The decision I made: I'm not taking another class for the fall semester. The amount of misery that my current class has caused me this summer is not something I want to repeat and it's just not worth it at this point in my life. Lesson learned. So I have three and a half weeks of sucking it up and getting through the remainder of my current course.

You can expect a new-and-improved me on August 8th. Not that I won't post before then, but we'll see.

Small Breakthrough

The other day I got so busy talking about job drama (still waiting to hear) and the big breakthrough it will be if I make it through this week of training as planned that I forgot to mention the small breakthrough that I had last week. After nearly five years of riding road bikes in some capacity or another, I got my first "while I was riding" flat. I've had a few leaks that resulted in post-ride flats, but I've never actually had to change in tire myself on the road.

Well, I'd never actually successfully changed a tire period, since I'm a prissy butt and make Adam do it for me whenever possible. I'm satisfied that I KNOW how to, and don't want to muss my manicure unnecessarily. However, last Thursday I had to (luckily no fresh manicure was mussed) and was surprisingly successful. My previous attempts have all been on mountain bike tires and apparently they are a lot harder. I've never been able to roll them all the way back on the rim, but with the road tire I was able to do it fairly easily. Best of all, it actually held air for the rest of my ride. So I didn't do much to get faster last week, but at least I had one breakthrough.

Craziness Explained (or Not)

I expected to have some resolution to my last cryptic post by now or I would not have been so cryptic. Actually, I probably would not have brought it up at all, as it was just more job interview stuff. Believe me, I, more than anyone, know how crazy I sound with the whole, "So I'm interviewing for a really great new job this week" only to, once again, find out a few days later that I didn't get it. And of course there is the week of lost training, sanity, and general human functioning that accompany each missed opportunity. Yet I still fall into the trap over and over because I somehow become convinced it is The Last Time and when it's all over I will have a level financial and career satisfaction that will allow me to better focus on my cycling for the next few years. However, it just doesn't work out that way.

Anyway, I guess the thing that prompted me to even prematurely mention this to the blog world (which I swore I would never do again) was the crazy circumstances surrounding this particular interview. It took me a while to even apply for this job. Things are looking up at my current job and there's an extremely good chance I will be promoted soon, so I'm not really compelled to apply for anything outside my office unless it is a very big step up and I have a reasonably good chance of getting it. However, after a couple of weeks of contemplation and research, I decided that I should give this one a shot.

My application went in the week of the 4th of July, so I didn't hear anything for a week, but I didn't really expect to so near a holiday. Then Monday morning I got a call asking me to interview Monday afternoon. It was strange, but I took it as a complement that they wanted to see me so quickly. The interview went fine and by the time I went to send a thank you email that evening, I already had an invitation for a second interview in my inbox. The second interview went well and then we reach the part where I start to doubt my hearing/sanity. I believe that the person in charge told me that they would have a decision by the next day. That sounded like a really fast timeline, but we had already been working fast so it wasn't too surprising. However, when the next couple of days passed with no word I got a little panicked. Finally, I called them yesterday and it turns out that the director had been out of town most of the week following my interview. The person I talked to said he was fairly certain that a decision was not made yet.

So I really don't have a final resolution to this tale, but I thought I would give a little more detail about what was going on, in case anyone was wondering.

The good news is that after typing all that, I am feeling energized enough to go ride my bike. Due to the many and varied extenuating circumstances of late, I've reached a point where pulling on my bibs for a 1 hour easy ride feels like a herculean task. I'm really trying to get myself going again ASAP, regardless of this job thing pans out.

So here's the deal: I HAVE to maintain my planned workout schedule for next week whether I find out I got the job, didn't get the job, or still don't find out anything. If can do that it, it will be a huge breakthrough in the whole "emotional maturity" aspect of my training that I desperately need. So expect regular report of how that goes.

Craziness

I can't go into much detail about my weekend. Let's just say it was crap cycling-wise. I am not the Indiana state downhill champion, as I ended up not going to the Saturday races. It's just as well, as it was quite possibly the most scary, mud-drench mess ever and I would have killed myself. No hub-deep gunk like the Lumberjack, but tons of slick clay smeared over jagged rocks and roots. Fun. I was thinking of last year's perfectly tacky conditions when I said I could do the downhill without breaking anything.

Anyway, today has been unbelievably crazy with more craziness in store. Details will be provided when it's all over.

Worst 4th of July Ever!!!

Why? Because I've spent the entire day working on what I truly believe to be the hardest paper I've ever written, even counting the "mini-thesis" I did for my master's program. At least I had a whole semester to finish that. As it is, I'm already five days overdo (and still not finished) due to the good grace of my professor, but I absolutely have to finish it tonight. I really hope this certificate pays off in the long run, because right now it's just sucking the life out me.

I really hope that I can learn to balance things better soon. By taking classes, I've made something that was already hard (training and working full-time) a lot harder. The upside of it is that when it's all over I will still be under 30 (plenty of good cycling years left) and I will certainly have a new appreciation for how "easy" I have it. I would really just rather not have the next year (57 weeks to be exact) of cycling messed up by what may or may not turn out to be a profitable career investment.

~~

The good news is that I have two days of racing ahead of me. I don't expect much after all the life-sucking homework and viruses of the last couple of weeks, but it should be fun at least. It is the DINO AMBC weekend with shortrack and "downhill" tomorrow and XC on Sunday. I'm going to try the "downhill" for the first time in my career tomorrow and I'm sort of hoping to bring home a state championship. That's mostly because I expect to be the only woman who tries it. If that turns out to be the case, I just have to make it to the bottom without breaking anything and I get 10 bonus points for the series. That seems like it would be reasonable on a course that reasonably skilled men have completed on hardtails and where winning times are in the 20-second range. Of course, I'm not a reasonably skilled man, but maybe my 3.5 inches of travel will help me out a bit.