Monday, January 27, 2014

Week #56: Isolation

In this "off season", rather than just disappearing for the winter and posting pictures of ourselves riding trainers on Facebook, I would like to try to see people and maybe even do non-cycling things. - Me, December 2012

And, admittedly, this was on Instagram, not Facebook.

Okay, so I didn't do a super awesome job fulfilling that statement last winter, but I think I did better than in any winter past. I actually rode with people and stuff, even if I didn't manage to develop the social life I wanted until I was living on my own and didn't have to explain to anyone where I'd been or with whom. With the extra craptastical weather this winter, I have fallen further back into my previous pattern of isolation. 

With the unpredictability of the weather, I've been reluctant to try to make riding plans with people, and don't particularly want to be responsible for dragging someone else to into a ride that could turn out to be a total mess. Unless, of course, that person is Frank, in which case its an important bonding experience where we each get to see what the other is made of. Otherwise, I feel pretty guilty being like, "Oh hey, I super don't want to ride today, but do you want to come along and join the misery?" At least so far I've been successful at getting myself out the door, despite my own protests, but I'm not sure I can handle that for anyone else.

So, needless to say, part of my hermit-like behavior has to do with the fact that most of my mental energy is going to "getting up and doing what needs to be done" regarding my training plan. So, partly lame, partly yay for me. Otherwise, I did have the feeling that I should engage in some sort of human contact Saturday night, but after my trip to the farmer's market that morning, I had $86 to last me until Friday morning. So the hermit behavior was also kind of necessary to keep that total from going any lower.

Okay, maybe I do.

So much like last year, Death March training seems to be coming along, perhaps at the price of social interaction. Hopefully, I can improve on that soon. For now, I'm happy to report that I completed all planned workouts last week, with the exception that the HNF gravel was still pretty snow-covered, and I didn't get in nearly as many miles on Sunday as I had hoped. Sometimes you just have to give yourself props for getting out and doing a long ride in bad conditions, even if "long" is relative.

Otherwise, the biggest thing occupying my mind lately is Frank's job search and the ongoing question of where I will be living August. [Late edit: I realized that the "I" in that statement should be "we". Part of my problem is that I've not completely started thinking in those terms yet.] It's looking less and less like that place will be Bloomington, so I'm now really having to confront my fears about finding a new job, moving, etc. It's really hard being in a situation where I just have to sit and wait for answers and can't take any action on anything yet. I keep trying to tell myself that last January I didn't know where I'd be living in August, either, and that turned out pretty alright, but so far that's only been minorly helpful. 

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